"My Life in Theatre"

...and as if by a stroke of luck, it was great!

2011-12-05T23:43:00.013Z

A pal of mine has recently directed a show. It is a great show and having read and selected the script for a reading I knew the challenge that the director faced so am delighted with the results. The whole show feels like it has a very strong director's vision to me. However, - the show has not received enough attention but the attention it has received is very positive but as is always the case the director is not mentioned.

As part of her work she edited the text down from two and half hours to one hour,
She orchestrated the doubling, nay trebling of parts, to give the actors plenty to do and economically tell the story. (review said, "elegant scripting with nine sparky roles for actors")

She also co-composed the show and didn't receive a mention for that though the other composer did when the reviewer listed the, "many other things which stand out in this fine piece of theatre."

I truly believe that if the reviewer has done her homework and read the full script, which is available, she would realise it is the power of the production and not that text alone that makes her say, "it’s hard to see why it hasn’t been revived more often."

The reason I am being so nit-picky is for once I feel close enough to a production yet not actually involved in it to express my constant confusion and amusement at what I can only assume is reviewer's ignorance as to what it is directors do. And so we are left forgotten and unconsidered unless the director happens to be a name.

The director is invisible if they have done their job but one would hope that a reviewer at least could see beyond that.

5 Minute Theatre

2011-06-22T13:16:00.001+01:00

Really enjoying this from National Theatre of Scotland:

Watch live streaming video from nationaltheatrescotland at livestream.com

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Now this is over you can read about it HERE

Mervyn Peake Mini-Festival

2011-05-03T23:23:00.005+01:00

The Blue Elephant Theatre hosted a mini-festival of Mervyn Peake's writings in the week between the Easter and May Day bank holiday weekends. The three nights consisted of:

Noah's Ark
directed by Mhairi Grealis
Cast: Adam Langstaff, Alexis Leighton, Andy Phipps, Cassie Hodges, Denholm George Spurr, Gil Sutherland, Jaclyn Bradley, James Stanyer, Louise Mai Newberry, Nic Lamont

Noah was a sat down reading. With many animal characters we solved that problem, after much debate, consideration and back and forth by having the actors manipulate very simple cardboard cutout puppets. This meant that the actors couldn't hold their scripts so they used music stands to facilitate their reading. On top of playing human roles and animal parts the actors also had to learn 11 new songs.

The play was performed on BBC radio in the 70s but none of us could find the recording. We were all of unsure as to how the play would work for a modern (and mostly adult) audience. Mhairi did a great job with the text and wrote beautiful music to go with the songs so the play really lifted well off the page. In the post show discussion people were enthusiastic but suggested cutting the two hour reading if presenting it to children and suggested it could also appeal to adults.

Mr Loftus
directed by me
Cast: Adam Langstaff, Andy Phipps, Ashley Allyman, Ceridwen Smith, Christian Devellerez, Emily Wallis, James Stanyer, Laurence Dobiesz, Louise Mai Newberry, Martina Moss, Mark Smedley, Matthew Haigh

Mr Loftus or And a Horse of Air is a previously unperformed play. I really enjoyed this play from my first reading. It covers many of the existential themes favoured by Peake in The Cave but gives a much deeper insight, I feel, into Mervyn Peake's own feelings regarding his relationship with his art.

Loftus is a verbose and grandiose sluggard genius who never leaves his sofa until he meets Flora. He is surrounded by a number of larger than life characters that revolve around him, "buzz like wasps round a jam jar", in a very farcical fashion. The conflict of styles is both fascinating and a challenge for a full production. Our reading was semi-staged to highlight the farcical elements and to challenge the concern that because Loftus rarely leaves the sofa that the play is very difficult to stage.

I think we proved that the play is not nearly as static as if first seems on reading but again the audience suggested that cuts would be necessary for a fully staged production as this reading also ran to two hours. Semi-staging this reading was very ambitious but the actors did a wonderful job with this incredible challenge!

Peakes Poetry
directed by Mhairi and I
Cast: Adam Langstaff, Alexis Leighton, Andy Phipps, Ceridwen Smith, Emily Wallis, Jaclyn Bradley, James Stanyer, Laurence Dobiesz, Matthew Haigh

The evening of poetry was focused on poems that covered themes picked up in the two play readings. We also did a scratched version of chorally staging The Rhyme of the Flying Bomb.

I very much enjoyed this evening and it was very well received. I really enjoy Peake's poetry and the opportunity to engage with it in detail was great fun and I love how studying the poetry allows it to open up between the actor and I. The actors did a fantastic job delivering the texture of this work on the evening.

The Rhyme of the Flying Bomb had some mixed feedback, some feeling it was less emotional than the shorter poems, some preferring to listen to it with their eyes closed as we had very little time to compose the visual staging. It has a great deal of potential and we only presented a cut version at about 60% of the completed poem and even then it was a mammoth task to investigate that between and after rehearsals for the rehearsed reading.

The whole festival was a MAMMOTH undertaking but in the end I think it was a great success and the three pieces worked for themselves and only did so with the hard work of the actors and the team at the Blue Elephant Theatre, predominately Niamh de Valera and Jasmine Cullingford.

You can read Sebastian Peake's response to the festival here: http://mervynpeake.blogspot.com/2011/05/blue-elephant-theatre.html

Mervyn Peake 1911-1968: Centenary Celebrations

2011-04-23T09:36:00.005+01:00

with thanks to the Chris Beetles gallery for allowing us to use this image in connection with the mini peake festival.

Following The Cave at the BET last year I did a reading of Fred's Diner by Penelope Skinner at Paines Plough in January. Doing that was a great reminder of how much work needs to go into a reading to get the play to live. So for the past few months, with Jasmine Cullingford, Mhairi Grealis and Niamh de Valera, I have been preparing a series of readings of Mervyn Peake's work.

Mervyn Peake left, in a suitcase that was discovered ten year ago, a series of unperformed plays. The Cave was one of those but there are approximately another seven or eight.

The process began by Jasmine and I reading a few of the plays and then getting together to discuss them. We narrowed them down to two and at the planning meeting to discuss which one we would do as a reading, we agreed to do both and an evening of poetry. To be fair it was my own enthusiasm that took me over and I may have bit off more than was always comfortable to chew. I forgot my cardinal rule that it takes the same amount of energy to produce something for one night as it does for three weeks. As a result of all our hard work next week we have readings of Noah's Ark, directed by Mhairi Grealis - who has in addition written the music for the eleven songs contained in that script, on Tuesday, Mr Loftus, which I am directing, on Wednesday and on Thursday we finish with an evening of poetry. The poetry evening contains a semi-staging of The Rhyme of the Flying Bomb and four pieces of Mervyn Peake's poetry put to music by Ewen Moore. I knew that Peake was a poet and therefore suggested the evening of poetry readings as I thought it might be interesting to put in work into context. It was a bit of a gamble as I do not have a natural affinity to poetry but I have really enjoyed and relished Peake's poetry. It has been particularly helpful to engage with the poetry whilst working on Loftus as the themes are mirrored throughout. One has really helped illuminate the other, for me at least.

DETAILS:
Dates Tuesday 26 April - Thursday 28 April
Time 8:00 pm
Days of the week Tuesday - Thursday
Tickets Tickets are FREE but must be reserved in advance to guarantee entrance. Book tickets

The Blue Elephant marks Mervyn Peake's centenary year with a mini-festival of his plays and poetry celebrating his diversity as a writer. Following our world premiere of The Cave last year, we discover once again that Peake's imagination and inspiration extended far beyond Gormenghast...

Tuesday 26 April: Rehearsed reading of Noah's Ark
Intended for children, Peake’s unmistakable prose makes his behind-the-scenes account of this well-known biblical story just as engaging for adult audiences. Originally aired on BBC radio, this charming play is long overdue a theatrical staging.

Wednesday 27 April: Rehearsed reading of Mr Loftus or And a Horse of Air
The dust in his room is ankle deep yet Mr Loftus still insists on being served tea and brandy by his butler. With an eccentric anti-hero whose manners are decidedly ungentlemanly, this previously unseen play is Peake's distinctive take on the comedy of manners.

"Mad? Did you say mad? I have gone sane. That's much more difficult."

Thursday 28 April: The Poems of Peake
An evening of Peake's poetry read, staged and interpreted by a range of artists. With a post-performance Q&A with the writer's son Sebastian Peake.

Festival Director
Aaron Paterson
Associate director
Mhairi Grealis
Lighting Designer
Claire Childs
Composer
Ewen Moore
Cast
Sebastian Aguirre, Ashley Alymann, Jaclyn Bradley, Christian Devellerez, Laurence Dobiesz, Matthew Haigh, Cassandra Hodges, Nic Lamont, Adam Langstaff, Alexis Leighton, Martina Moss-Clarke, Louise Mai Newberry, Andrew Phipps, Mark Smedley, Ceridwen Smith, Denholm George Spurr, James Stanyer, Gil Sutherland, Emily Wallis, Guy Warren-Thomas

The Cave is closed

2010-11-07T11:41:00.002Z

The Cave closed last night. I have had so much fun working on this challenging piece of theatre and I feel we did a good job with it but I yearn for the opportunity to do it again. If I knew what I know now at the beginning of the process it would be a very different production. I feel there is a lot more we could do with and, in every way on this production, time was our enemy.

It seems a shame for such a wonderful play to go back to sit on a shelf unperformed.

The Cave: Times Review

2010-11-04T23:32:00.002Z

Click on the image to enlarge and read Libby Purves's review:

From the Theatre Diary the following Monday...

The Cave is closing

2010-11-04T23:14:00.003Z

The Cave has only two performances left at the Blue Elephant theatre and after another sold out show tonight if you do want tickets for tomorrow or Saturday you will need to book up soon.

I thought it was high time I put up the reviews so will put up those I can remember here:
The Express
The Stage
Running in Heels (yes they spelt my name wrong!)

I have scanned the stuff from The Times but I can't get it to upload unfortunately...

The Cave is officially OPEN

2010-10-22T12:47:00.002+01:00

Last night was Press Night and we seemed to have ironed out the majority of problems and the actors really let the text sing.

This feels somewhat remarkable tome after the 5 days of hard slog we had getting there. Lots of long days and early nights for this complex play and a mysterious blackout in the middle of Wednesday's preview had us all on edge but other than a missing pair of shoes and the screw for the clock falling out of the wall there were no major mishaps. Now reviews are just dependent on people's personal opinions...

In the mean time you can listen to mine and Emily's interview with The Londonist here:

The Cave: Mary's Media Day

2010-10-14T23:32:00.002+01:00

Early start at 8am this morning for me and Chris (the sound and video designer) as we had to prepare for some filming for the show. Emily joined us at 9am and we tried out a few ideas for a couple of hours.

After a brief stint rehearsing with the boys we were joined by Nikk who came to interview Emily and myself for a podcast to go on the Londonist website, link for that to follow when it is up. We also recorded a couple of short segments from the play to accompany the podcast - so it should be very interesting indeed.

Tomorrow is our last really official day of rehearsals and, although we are all tired, spirits are high and the performance has certainly picked up a notch.

So far so good....

The Cave: Final Stretch

2010-10-12T07:59:00.002+01:00

So it is one week today that we open.

We have a really good handle on this play now but it is a massive play and the journeys are hard work. There is a lot of technical business with props, set & costumes that will need to be worked out at the start of next week but in the mean time we need to tie the emotional centre of the play down.

I feel like we have a lot of work still to do but that it is achievable and that we all know where we are going.

One week left though... it's always so daunting.

The Cave: Cast

2010-10-07T01:18:00.004+01:00

Sebastian Aguirre

Diane Axford

Nicholas Hoad

Emily Wallis

Matthew Wade

Guy Warren-Thomas

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

2010-10-07T00:56:00.003+01:00

Today, The Cave company were put through their paces by the Fight Director, Ronin Traynor (website: ronintraynor) with the help of his assistant Ailin Conant - who is also the director of the lovely Jukai (a five star show currently playing at the Blue Elephant).

The show contains a great deal of violence so it was a great opportunity to have some as experienced as Ronin working with us and I think the show has really benefited from his input.

Overall we are in a great place with the script work and the actors are a wonderful team. As always the more serious the script the more hilarious the rehearsal and I have been reduced to breathless laughter too often for what should feel like work. Though that is not why I am putting in extra hours. I am trying to give the actors as much of my time as I can as this play is huge and wrestling it into a logical existence is proper graft but equally exhilarating.

Fabian and Florence Peake have been popping in to make sketches and I have no idea what there work will be. Their website are here:
Florence and Fabian

Peake's Poetry

2010-10-03T01:23:00.001+01:00

TO LIVE IS MIRACLE ENOUGH

To live at all is miracle enough.
The doom of nations is another thing.
Here in my hammering blood-pulse is my proof.

Let every painter paint and poet sing
And all the sons of music ply their trade;
Machines are weaker than a beetle’s wing.

Swung out of sunlight into cosmic shade,
Come what come may the imagination’s heart
Is constellation high and can’t be weighed.

Nor greed nor fear can tear our faith apart
When every heart-beat hammers out the proof
That life itself is miracle enough.

http://www.mervynpeake.org/poet.html

The Cave: Day 5

2010-10-01T08:39:00.003+01:00

Good morning.

It has been a busy week and today brings us to the end. We have united the text, we have looked at viewpoints engage with physicality and had a session on classical technique to embrace the unstable and poetic language. Everyone is doing very well and the play have a very vague shape and form and we have managed to get through the whole thing once.

Today I have a production meeting in my lunch hour and then we have to share something with the creative team and a small invited audience. It feels too soon in a way but I think for the creative team it will be invaluable.

There has been a lot of laughter and our stage manager is tweeting @BETcamberwell if you are interested in following.

I certainly feel like my week has been full on but next week we have to take it up a gear and we have to do some extra work and start really unlocking the dynamics of the play in the space.

The Calm Before the Storm?

2010-09-26T23:55:00.003+01:00

So tomorrow the journey into The Cave begins in earnest.

We are fully cast with a wonderful team and have our Stage Manager joining us tomorrow too. We have a busy week so that we have something to share with our invited audience on Friday afternoon.

I have been preparing this week and should like to share some of that with my dear readers but I regret that it would only reveal only too much about the play. So you'll have to come see it for yourself.

I'm sure there will be plenty to report from our day to day grind.

"The Wolves of Holy Rome"

2010-09-15T23:34:00.005+01:00

...reading the script again this evening I found the above quote pertinent for the day. I wonder how often I can find pertinent quotes to match the news?

Things are really going well though I feel at a stage where nothing feels concrete. We are still in a world of possibilities, which is equally exciting and terrifying. Lots of exciting design ideas floating around and being debated/considered. Big production meeting tomorrow to get stuck in to big questions. All part of a wonderful process!

The Voice of the Heart by Winnington is still proving to be very revealing the more I read it and go back to the script. Thank you Peter!

Mervyn Peake - The Cave (Trailer)

2010-09-06T01:03:00.003+01:00

Cave Pre-production

2010-09-04T19:58:00.003+01:00

Notes on events that have been happening:

Our teaser trailer is hours away from launch. I am very excited about it and think it gives a strong sense of the feel of the piece.

We had a production meeting on Friday and today I have been been battling with Picasa to try and have a group Image Bank for the production team. It's not proving fruitful for all parties yet but ideas for the design are very exciting at the moment.

With the help of Chris (sound and video designer) and Nadine (Stage Manager) I was able to finally read through the drafts of the play I have in typed form. There are discrepancies between the '61 typescript and the preparation for the upcoming publication that G. Peter Winnington has sent me. I have contacted Peter to discuss those. I have also ordered his book The Voice of the Heart: The Working of Mervyn Peake's Imagination, which I am sure will as illuminating and a pleasure to read as his Peake biography.

Casting moves onto the next stage this week. I have begun discussions with a composer. Been debating which image to use for BET promotion and in the end we have used an edited Mervyn Peake drawing. Edited with some trepidation but we had to be honest with ourselves that Peake had never illustrated a cave for this play and the illustrations of caves of his that we do have one had figures at the other end, making the image a tunnel and the second had pirates in it. Yet on the other hand it seemed silly to invent an image when the author is also a highly respected artist and so this compromise was reached to remove the figures from the tunnel and turn it, by way of simply adding darkness, into a tunnel.

Eyes peeled for the trailer...

The Cave: 28/8/10

2010-08-28T21:02:00.003+01:00

After meeting my sister to have a look at the BP Portrait Exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery today I popped upstairs to have a look at the self-portrait of Mervyn Peake on display there.

It is in one of my favourite rooms and I must have seen it many times before. Looking at the image I realised I feel quite kind odd to be so involved in bringing one of his plays to the stage for the first time. It is quite intimate yet cold, he feels close and yet, of course, very distant. I also feel that the relationship I develop with him in my head is completely fictional.

Having now finished Vast Alchemies I am filled with G. Peter Winnington's enthusiasm for Peake, though I was less happy to read that it is reported he once hit a 'homosexual' for making a pass at him. Although he also edited a long limerick poem for Quentin Crisp.

I then met Nicki who will be designing our costumes and we had a great chat about how the costumes might work, how they won't work, and how we will work together between laughs about cling film, kitchen foil and greaseproof paper.

I am very much looking forward to getting stuck in with the text and in one month we will have finished our second day or rehearsals... the count down has begun.

There is no difference in or out of dreams

2010-08-25T11:41:00.002+01:00

"The nightmare is the truth and the truth is nightmare."

Many thanks to G. Peter Winnington - not only for writing the wonderful Vast Alchemies that I am still tripping through but for sending me a fully typed and correct script and an associated article.

Whilst reading Peter's book before bed I was informed that Lord Groan, Titus's father from Gormenghast, feels like he is part of Gormenghast castle. He cannot tell where he ends and the castle begins. In my sleep I dreamt that I was house sitting for Sebastian Peake. Sebastian is Mervyn's son who I have met since working on this play and who has just been born in the biography; he sleeps in a chest drawer as I used to. In my dream I was holding a part in the house and Sebastian came home early, he was a little disgruntled about the gathering but went to bed. My guests and I were gathered in the kitchen and I was trying to keep everyone quiet and feeling rather embarrassed at having abused the house. Finally Sebastian came down in his pyjamas and asked us to leave.

I wonder if I extended the metaphor of Lord Groan and Gormenghast and the house became a metaphor for Mervyn and this is a simple anxiety dream about m responsibilities to Mervyn, his work and reputation as a playwright.

The Cave.... a catch up

2010-08-23T20:38:00.003+01:00

I have been invited by the Blue Elephant to direct the world premiere of The Cave by Mervyn Peake. Peake is most famous for his Gormenghast novels.

I have spent most of last week typing up a usable copy of the script. The only version we have is a facsimile of a typed manuscript sent out by Peake's agent in the 1960s. The play was never produced however,so I have been typing up the script to eradicate obvious typos and to make the font legible.

I am deep in research reading a great biography called Vast Alchemies by G. Peter Winnington, some of Mervyn Peake's other writings and looking at his art work.

I am really excited about this project and enjoy the play more everytime I read it. A lot more on this to follow soon.

I know I have been shameful in keeping up with the blog recently but this project should bring a lot more focus to the blog again.

Instruction upon Instructions

2010-06-03T16:42:00.003+01:00

Went to East London today to work on Instructions for Heartbreak with Fran and Lyndsey. Fran is showing the work in Ipswich next week. It is looking good but any artist worth their salt knows they have to keep trying to make ti better so it doesn't slip back.

We worked in a beautiful and overly large venue. I love empty theatre spaces. They are so.... I want to say dramatic but that feels cheap and wrong. I guess they feel so full of potential. Often, I feel, unused potential. Like when an object is suspended high up, or (I imagine) if you are going to do a parachute jump that moment before something drops. The potential to be something wonderful and exhilarating. OF course with an audience present the potential is replaced by expectation. An abstract desire to be entertained. It is more difficult to live up to expectation than to imagine successful potential.

I was concerned that we weren't going to get much done in 2 hours but we were really rather successful and although I tend to feel my idea of what a performance should be and what a live artist's idea of what a performance should be are always hazily not parallel but not miles apart the negotiation can be interesting. I feel like I have already mentioned how I feel Fran and I come to a place in performance creation that is very close and similar but we see it from the different perspectives. If someone was holding a coin up she would see head and I would see tails but it would be the same coin.

I am really looking forward to Ipswich and seeing how it works in front of a very different audience.

Writing Tools

2010-06-03T00:07:00.002+01:00

I missed writing group yesterday as a) I had a pounding headache but also b) my new laptop was getting delivered.

I have invested in a lap top so that I can work away from home as I think it will be important for completing the novel. I'm excited!

A Little Something From the Weekend

2010-06-02T22:53:00.003+01:00

Had a very delightful weekend indeed. Perhaps borderline inspirational.

Mhairi asked me a while back if I would teach two sessions of the Richmond Theatre Adult Directing Course to introduce a physical movement element. As usual the class crept up on me. What I wanted to impress on the students was to rely on their opinion and the power of shaping and changing movement, nothing needs to stay the same, and to start seeing the vast array of choices in front of you then and to realise that every change has an effect. That when generating movement you are writing/creating in a way that you are not necessarily with a text. With text that someone else has written you are interpreting. They are different mediums. This is of course a generalisation as you can use movement to interpret text but lets not get pedantic.

Next week the plan is to investigate in more detail how to generate movement material and then how to shape it. So more tool orientated where as this week was more about thinking about approaching how and why to use movement. It was great how thinking about teaching movement made me think about using movement. I certainly found the session very educational.

The class was in Richmond Adult Educational College. Lovely building. Would have been an ideal Havisham location if they had gone all laminate and mint plastic inside. There was a curiously empty cafe that I sat in after the class was finished to write a story while waiting to catch my train. I dashed out a story in just over an hour. Short but to the point and effective in pushing me in the right direction if not wholly successfully in and of itself. So I still need to complete the sister story to sit/compete with it.

Just as I put my pencil down two ladies appeared next to me wanting to share my sofa as the once empty cafe was now full of people. Two aging but attractive actresses who were part of a jazz singing course at the college. They were there for a small but intimate and somewhat impromptu jazz concert. All the students did a piece so I stayed long enough to hear them both sing. Very pleasant unexpected up scale banter and a delight to be entertained for free while waiting for my train.

However I had to dash off because I had a date with Fran. Fran and I were due to attend a launch/seminar/conference of a Creative Producer Initiative. It was run in conjunction with ScenePool and Camden Council to encourage a connection between 'companies' and venues. Unusually I didn't feel nervous or intimidated so it was nice to just chat to other hard working dedicated creative people. It too was really inspiring. It also reminded me that I can mope around feeling miserable, as I think I have been recently. Well longer than recently but I feel like its a shallow rut I'm starting to roll out of.

So after our meeting and drinks we rushed off to Stratford for some Performance Poetry. Yes, I know what you are immediately thinking. I thought it too. Fran wanted to see John Hegley who I think I've seen a dozen times before. It was fantastic. Three of the four performers were very strong. John Hegley was the best I've ever seen him. Very very funny and also touching. The atmosphere was cabaret like. Tables and chairs with a relaxed informality. It encouraged you to believe that you wanted to watch not that you HAD to watch. You could chat gently or let your eyes wander while still being interested and involved in the performance. It felt comfortable and natural but maybe that's cos the quality was strong.

Went back to Fran's and stayed over after attempting to watch Carry on Jack with volume set to near mute before sleeping soundly on a futon.

In the morning I read Fran my story and discussed the sister story with her providing fruitful results. We then progressed on to working on Fran's piece Instructions For Heartbreak which is playing in Ipswich next week. It is always a pleasure to work with Fran but our styles are slightly at odds with one another. We both sit on a shady line between theatre and live art but Fran errs more towards live art and I veer more towards theatre so the cross over is awkward and comes from different disciplines but is still very useful.

I had a very quality weekend which has reinvigorated my desire to make work. Its easy to mope about not doing anything when you are not doing anything about doing something. That said I have yet to find time to do much quality work on my novel. I don't know where my days have gone!

The desire is back and I even managed a run. So it's a step in the right direction.

ENRON

2010-05-09T18:01:00.004+01:00

Saw ENRON last Wednesday. Finally.

Has to be said that I was not 100% convinced that it was gonna live up to the hype but I really enjoyed it. Again really proud of my mate Ellie who was incredible. She played a variety of parts as most of the cast did but her hooker was stand out. Easily the best prostitute I have ever seen.

The play was a really exciting look at the dark depths of business and revealing the hidden truths of 'the market' - that self same market that we are beholden to now and which people were fussing over around the time of the election. The show really worked as a metaphor for the situation. It is bewildering and fast moving and full of entertaining ideas while discussing financial issues that you understand enough to let the bits you don't understand fly by unquestioned. You understand the excitement that the employees where riding. I felt the only problem was the very end when the bubble bursts there isn't enough of the aftermath, it becomes very personal and in the final moments the audience were left unsure of when to applaud. I felt like I wanted to see a hint of the future banking crisis lurking, another bubble building that we know is also going to burst. But we were left on a downer, which is necessary but I think the idea could have been pushed forward otherwise we are kind of left with an idea of it being finished.

But dwelling on the negatives. I did think I could see why it wouldn't have gone down well in America but that is very easy to say given that I knew it was closing today as I watched.

Great show but sorry to tell you you've missed the original cast, who finished yesterday.

MORE IMAGES HERE

Writing Group I

2010-05-04T23:15:00.002+01:00

Second visit to the writing group tonight. I had agreed to read last week. I shocked myself with how nervous I felt. I hate being judged. That's why I hate job interviews. I get too nervous. Anyway I joined to group to get feedback on the novel I am working on so I read the short folksy story that I posted on here a month or so ago as it underpins the bulk of the novel. I didn't tell them too much of the context of the piece as I wanted to gauge their reaction to story as a stand alone piece plus it is the most ready of the bulk of that work.

Luckily I respond well and prefer constructive criticism. I crave it much more than "I liked it" and I was glad that this was also true of my writing. The group are very supportive and remarkably honest without ever verging on harsh. The feedback was in many ways what I wanted to hear form the story though there were some fantastic comments on rhythm and some of the repetition I used. I agreed and appreciated about ninety percent of it. I think the rest was a matter of taste or opinion. It was interesting to hear reactions when I then told them the context, which certainly makes the piece richer.

The other piece that was read was also very fairy tale/folk tale inspired and was a delicately crafted short story that I thought was delightful and at times I felt I was defending, not that people's comments were unnecessary I just didn't agree with them.

I am really enjoying the writing group and headed to the pub afterwards for a drink and more chats. After reading I really feel like I've broken myself in and could become part of the group, though I still feel it may take time to work myself in as big groups like that often intimidate me but time should break that down. I already trust them.

Brick Lane Writers

2010-04-27T23:44:00.002+01:00

This evening I hurriedly printed off some of my novel to take to the writers' group I've just joined. I was nervous that I'd have to read it but managed to get away with it this time but agreed to put myself forward next week.

I walked down Brick Lane trying to discover the venue to find that I was the first there. I finally met Harry and Viv outside and we were shortly let into the lovely independent book store. At the back of the shop was a circle of chairs. We made ourselves comfortable and waited for some others to join us. There was a good mix of age and gender present. Harry read first. He read the second chapter from his novel. He handed out copies for people to read from as he read but there weren't enough copies so I elected to listen. His novel felt to me like something I would never pick up for myself so it was challenging and very interesting to be swept up in the atmosphere of something unfamiliar. I was still rather nervous when he finished and was surprised that the discussion that ensued purposefully excluded the author to begin with' I resolved to leave the comments to other people but impressed by the honesty of the group, while remaining supportive, I found my voice and then I had something to say about everyone's work. I probably spoke too much especially when the second piece was a monologue. I thought I would be a lone voice in my specific critiques of that piece but rather I sparked a debate that had me defending the opposite position I had originally taken up.

I had been very unsure what to expect but the group were very welcoming, very honest and I have agreed to read something next week. Which despite me taking something this week - as I felt it might be compulsory - I still find pretty daunting yet also very exciting. More to follow next week...

Please note that I will note be commenting on the content of the work et cetera on here as I think it would be a complete breach of trust and I hope I have managed to bridge some kind of gap to share the experience without revealing anything private.

SHORTS: Puncture Repair IV

2010-04-27T22:35:00.003+01:00

Sunday was finally the performances for Puncture Repair along with 5 other pieces.
The showings were at 5pm and 8pm at the Landor Theatre.

I am not going to go into details of the day as in the end it all ran rather smoothly. What I finished with (despite it being sold out and thus having no-one standing in my corner) was a real sense of pride in the work, both Anne and Tom acquitted themselves perfectly, and a sheer pleasure at basking in a mutual appreciation of creativity and talent. It was a fantastically supportive and generous group of people who really relished in the success of the other people around them. I have often found that it is easy for evenings like this to have an edge of competition but how much nicer it is when everyone is out there doing it together.

As I said the last time - am I sounding like Susan Boyle: 'As I said on the programme Bloody Fantastic!' She could well have been talking about Sunday night, it was a roaring success that left me with a wonderful warm glow.

I will either scan the programme and attach it here or will write out everyone's credits as they are all worthy of mention.

GUSHING COMPLETE. END PROGRAMME.

Puncture Repair III

2010-04-23T22:41:00.003+01:00

Another cute dog for the Puncture blog. This is Bella and she is a very young Fox Terrier and belongs to Nikki, whose studio we have been rehearsing in.

Today was really about touching base before the performance on Sunday and despite being HALF AN HOUR late (Thanks London Buses) we got a lot of work done in a short period of time. Very simple things like smoothing out things and reminding ourselves of decisions and discussing what will happen if technical issues occur. Actually that was our greatest challenge and we have a wonderful theatrical solution..... here's hoping it's not needed. Actually I am very confident we won't as Tom is really a whizz with the bicycle mending.

And our set is looking lovely. Sparse, uniform and functional.

The worst thing was me arriving thirty minutes late. Regardless of why I can't think of any time I have ever been so late for a rehearsal. It felt appalling especially as I have changed phones and so had no number to contact Anne to alert I was very behind schedule. One thing I can't stand is lateness especially for rehearsals but for the director to be late... that is bad. They were very nice about it but I felt I'd let my self down.

The Queue to Jerusalem

2010-04-23T22:24:00.003+01:00

Thursday morning on suggestion of AOD I got out of my bed at 0530 to be in London for 7am to queue for day tickets for the venerated Jerusalem. The play has been very highly regarded and closes on Saturday so we thought we'd make a last ditch effort to see this "modern classic".

On arriving at 7am the queue was as you see it in the picture above. There were 51 people ahead of us. Each person can buy two tickets (potentially 104 tickets ahead of us) and they only release 20 per show and with two shows on Thursday a total of 40 tickets were available. 104 - 40 = very low odds. However... it was 7am on a Thursday morning in London's Theatreland and we had signed up for an adventure so we stuck it out. We drank tea from Alison's flask, bumped into friends: Stephanie Lane (of Checkout fame - who joined the queue one hour after us and was 5 people behind us!) see pic below, and Caroline Partridge (of Remembering Rose fame). We ate bagels and chatted nonsense with each other, with others, stole a man's paper to read the horoscopes and made friendly banter with two ladies behind us in the queue who were 'ordinary' theatregoers and generally passionate about the arts. It was great to meet people who are our audiences.

This was around 0816

By ten o'clock I was so tired that I almost didn't care either way if I got tickets or not. What I needed was a toilet! We were not gonna wait for returns so I speed walked speedily away from the queue, which had doubled in length since we joined it, to Leicester Square to make use of Westminster's facilities.

After that, and after dumping anyone around me who couldn't keep up with the toilet run, I reconvened with Alison and Stephanie in a cafe in Soho where more nonsense was spoken, and we were joined by Ellie who DID have a ticket for Jerusalem....

Puncture Repair II & Mhairi

2010-04-18T22:30:00.002+01:00

I have really enjoyed this sunny day.

Met my sister for a birthday lunch (her birthday, my lunch) and then on to run-through of this writing event I am doing at the Landor Theatre. Puncture Repair is one of six pieces.

To see a bit more or to book tickets visit here:
http://www.landortheatre.co.uk/

The run through was in a small room above a pub. There were around fifteen of us crammed in a little room and we ran through the six pieces. There was a lovely supportive atmosphere and the standard was very high. Great to meet and chat to people whose work I admired when I went along to see it last time. I think next Sunday will be a very pleasant time.

Then I went to see my auld pal Mhairi. We had lovely chats about theatre, making work and the things that block us form doing that. We discussed the creativity matters work that will be starting again soon. Mhairi played me a Radio 4 comedy Count Arthur Strong which is about a gent going for an audition. It was so funny I nearly chocked.

Great creative day full of, and inspired by, creative people.

Puncture Repair I

2010-04-17T19:07:00.003+01:00

A Cute Dog!

Now I have your attention let me tell you about a small project I have been working on...

I have been directing a short piece of writing for Anne Rabbitt that is playing at the Landor Theatre next week. It's been a really gentle and fun process that has involved a lot of technical business for the actors so been interesting balancing that with the actors' performances but in truth they have done a lot of the work themselves. Very motivated. In fact in terms of my work as a director it has been very interesting to work with two mature and experienced actors and just helping them to shape and find their performances. It has been rewarding to feel able to have that freedom. Not that I am used to working with morons who don't know how to act rather perhaps I have been too controlling with actors in the past who aren't giving me what I want to see very quickly. As a rehearsal process it has also been much more slow paced. I have heard a lot recently that I push actors too hard and I wonder if these elements are linked. It might take more work to drag the exact performance I want out of actors, and its them doing that work, that to let them find it themselves.

Anyway, the dog isn't just a cute dog. She is from a rehearsal we had recently with a real dog as we will be miming the dog in the show so just wanted to give Anne and Tom the opportunity interact with a real dog to see how it informed the piece. It was really useful and as you can see she was gorgeous. I was thrilled!

Sight specific rehearsing.. almost. The show ain't set in a garden.

A Novel Idea

2010-04-13T20:47:00.002+01:00

Got distracted from talking about my writing project by typing up some stuff that I wrote on the train to Leeds. A little story to fit into the novel.

I started one novel and got so far but have put it aside to commit to another novel, which I am more excited about as I feel it has more of my own voice to it. Bizarrely it has set itself in Scotland, perhaps not too strange but it wasn't a conscious decision. I am really enjoying the process of writing and constructing a narrative and having a level of control over a project that I have never had before though the prospect of having a 'finished' first draft that then needs re-written is very daunting but I guess I will know how I feel about that when I get there. In the mean time, with Fran's guiding hand, I have joined a writing critique group - well in theory, the first meeting was tonight but I am bed bound through illness, hence the blog catch-up between naps

Macbeth, Cheek by Jowl

2010-04-13T19:11:00.004+01:00

I once met a guy who worked professionally as an assistant director. An experience I'd love to get. He told me that no matter how bad a performance was he could never leave in case someone saw him leaving. It worries me that people are would be so ego driven.

As, dear readers, you are aware I was dazzled by Declan Donnellan last year and so I was very excited to see his production of Macbeth when I saw that it was playing at the Barbican and I forked out £25 for a ticket and decided to go solo. I was sorely disappointed. I thought the production was cold and laboured and I felt the actors were explaining and illustrating the text to me rather than living it. I was particularly not taken by Will Keen's interpretation of Macbeth which seemed false and showy. Plus he looked a bit like General Zod.

My point is however that although I didn't take to the production for many reasons it does not colour my eternal view of Declan Donnellan or Cheek by Jowl. There were lots of beautiful and wonderful things in the production but overall I was left cold and struggled to care about the play.

I was going to add the e-trailer for the production but youtube is acting up. Maybe I'll add it later.

See... The man knows what he is talking about.

Clown Face

2010-04-13T18:54:00.003+01:00

I am not sure if I have already mentioned Helen's clown face project. Please read all about it here: Clown Face Blog

I have just re-read and finished reading her blog and think it's great. She has inspired me to blog again and perhaps more than facts. I think my blog has become fact related and I have been running away from the blog in a way that I have been running away from theatre. I am writing and been editing video and generally avoiding ideas of directing. I think partly this is because the work flowed so easily last year and this year has been mostly non-existent. More on what I have been doing to follow in another post though.

Helen and Fran hosted a Clown Face Party a few weeks ago. It was fascinating to see so many altered faces both emotionally and technically. Who a person seems to be is changed so completely by they make up, which means, on a greater scale how someone looks, their hair and build etc projects so much more about them than we are even prepared to accept. Even though we choose details of how a person dresses and looks for a performance. It reminds me of how much the Paris cast hated their make-up when they first tried it on because it didn't feel like them, because in fact, it wasn't them. I wonder if this subtle change is even more scary than the clown. The clown is both you and clearly not you so it easy to disregard the make up. 'Natural' make-up that doesn't look like you could be very disconcerting.

Anyway I filmed two short films while at the clown party. One was me playing with the face and expressions. The other was me taking the make up off. I have edited them together to shorten the experience and layered some of Ewen's 'Why Are Clowns?' music on top. It's a little creepy. Be warned if you don't like clowns.

Catch me if you can

2010-04-12T12:47:00.003+01:00

I am poorly and bored at home tucked up in bed so thinking I should catch up on my blog. I have been very naughty again.

Things I need to blog include:

Clown Face Party

Macbeth

Writing Group
Novelling

John Caird

2010-03-24T17:43:00.001Z

Very nice concise article on Directing:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/theatreblog/2010/mar/23/theatre-director-10-top-tips

I might even do number 10.

The Legend of the White Bride

2010-03-20T15:19:00.003Z

On a plain. In a distant desert, there was an old, old man. Many say he was called Old John. Regardless of his name, the old man was travelling from one village to another on his horse with a train of cattle. The expanse before him was bleak but he knew that he could cross it as his father and father’s father had done before him. He would go to the neighbouring village and sell the cattle and return a rich man and marry. His wife would bear him a son and when his time came he too would make the long journey across the desert.

For three days he journeyed and camped. Journeyed and camped. Journeyed and camped. On the fourth day as he came to The Great Dune. His father and his father’s father had told him of The Great Dune. It stood in the very centre of the desert. He had been told that the view at the top of the dune was indescribable. He would have a vision burned forever in his mind. The old man began to ascend The Great Dune. The wind picked up. The sand and dust flew up into his eyes and into the eyes of his horse. He had to get the entire train over The Great Dune and so he stopped. He made camp and waited for the weather to clear.

The next day the air was still and the centre of the desert was silent. The old man sang an old tune to the animals to wake them and mounted his horse to make the crossing in the calm morning breeze. As the horse trod forward a breeze rushed across the old man’s old nose. As they rode on the wind began to howl, sand and dust flew up into his eyes and into the eyes of his horse. He must get the entire train over The Great Dune and so he stopped. He made camp and waited for the weather to clear.

The next day he woke late. It was calm. The weather still and the animals were rested. He looked down across the valley travelled behind him and looked up at The Great Dune. They had ascended no more than a tenth of the great height ahead of them. He knew that managing his supplies was essential and so the old man cut his old coat and wrapped the eyes of the cattle. Bound his own eyes and blinkered his horse. He blindly mounted his companion and kicked him on. The train moved darkly in unison up the dune. The wind picked up. The sand and dust flew about the old man’s face. He closed his mouth so as not to taste the sand. He breathed quickly and sharply through his nose which he had bandaged with his eyes and kicked his horse onwards. The horse struggled. The old horse’s eyes burned but he would not let down his master and he trod on. The man felt as though he was being rained on by shards of glass. Sand was filling up the old man’s ears. The constant bombardment of sand gave the old man a headache and wearied his horse but he pushed on. As he reached the top of The Great Dune the old man’s old horse dropped dead. The wind came to a halt and the sand in the storm gently rained to the floor.

The old man uncovered his eyes. He stroked his dead horse and praised him for doing him proud. The old man also knew the value of meat and so immediately cut into the belly of his old friend. To his surprise and amazement an old women rolled out of his old friend’s old stomach. The old man did not know what to do but the old woman seemed unfazed and stood up. She thanked the gentle kind horse for caring for her and greeted the old man. The old man did not speak. The old woman told him that she was lost. She had nothing. Could he be so kind as to give her one of his oxen? The old man said nothing. Perhaps the wind had stolen his old voice as it had stolen his old horse’s life yet when the old woman asked where he was going he was able to point his old finger towards the village on the other side of the desert. She was disappointed. She could have done with a friend and the company of animals but she was headed West, she pointed in the direction but the old man knew little of directions and was none the wiser as to whether that meant he was travelling North or South. The old woman asked again if she might take one of his oxen to ride her home.

This time the old man found his voice. He had eight oxen, one for every ten years of his life, he told her. If he should give one away he may become younger but also more stupid. He had worked hard all his life to know what he knew and could not sacrifice a single ox to help her. He wanted to say sorry but he could not. He had lost his old horse climbing The Great Dune; perhaps his old friend would have survived if she had not hidden in his stomach. Now she wanted to take more. The old man would not stand for it. The old woman asked again. The old man could sense a threat in her request but he was stronger and more stubborn than she had given him credit for and he was not one to be subdued by womanly whiles. He refused her again. She gave him a final chance, raising her old eyebrows as a question and the old man shook his old head.

The wind picked up. The sand lifted from the ground and circled around the old man, the old women, the oxen and the dead horse. The rags and the years that wrapped the old woman were blown to dust and in her place stood a raven haired woman dressed in white robes, billowing in the wind. The old man fell to his knees. The woman spoke to him:

I have known your father and I have known your father’s father. Each gave unto me one ox and each was blessed with a strong and able son to protect them. You father’s father carried your father in his own body and delivered him to the world as your father did for you. You will deliver a daughter that will bring sorrow and salvation. I am The White Bride, when my daughter is done she will leave you and return to me and you will have nothing.

The woman vanished and the sand turned to rain. The ground beneath the man turned wet and thick and he slipped. The oxen slipped. They slid back down what had once been The Great Dune until wet and cold they huddled at the bottom, the oxen kicked one another and narrowly missing the old man. The old man pulled himself up and noticed that his stomach was already swollen. He rounded up the oxen and headed back to the village.

The sodden ground clung to his ankles which in turn began to swell. The rain made the old man sick and every morning he would vomit before carrying on the journey. The mud and the rain and the depression of his failed journey slowed the old man down. Sometimes he would sit on the back of an ox, later still he would oftentimes sleep on the back of an ox while it trudged through the rain and mud towards home. When the man thought he could get no bigger without tearing asunder he saw at the bottom of a glen, all the gleaming rooftops of his village. He descended from the most powerful ox, the only one left that could bear his weight, and with his wide gait he plodded down towards the village. By the time sun set he could see the gentle glow of fires. The rain that had never stopped had drowned his village and rooftops were all that were left. Though weak, ill and shocked the old man tethered his oxen, and went to look for food and clean waters for the animals that had carried him home.

The old man met an old friend who told him how they had moved their livestock and possessions up the hill and built temporary houses in the natural canopy of the trees. The old friend provided the old man food for his oxen, and went back to the others to tell them how the rain had bloated the old man. The old friend’s old wife said they should offer the old man shelter and food after his long journey, especially if he was as ill as the old friend said. The old wife was kind and made a bed on their floor by the makeshift fire and began cooking some soup. The old man arrived at the bottom of his old friend’s old tree and began to climb the ladder. Every rung stung his hands and feet but the drive to finish his journey and sleep soundly in a warm bed gave him super human strength. He drank their ale and ate the soup but spoke of nothing. He would tell them in the morning. The old wife watched his swollen stomach suspiciously and told him it was time for bed but the old man would not get any sleep yet.

The villagers, his old friends and old neighbours were awoken by the almighty scream he let out as he lay down. The old women of the village were women of instinct and even in the base tones of the old man could recognise the coming of a new child. They wrapped themselves up and ran through the rain, as best they could through the puddles and up the ladder; bringing with them ale, towels, bits, special pastes and potions to aid the birth. The old wife knew that it would be hard for men were not built to take the pain of child birth. The old friend was evicted from his own tree and sat below with the men of the village and for three days and three nights of screaming until there was silence. The beat of silence was broken by yet another loud and powerful scream but this time it sounded like a joyful innocent. A new child was born to the village. For the first time since the rain began the sun shone on the village and the glen was encased in rainbows as the rain continued to pour.

The child was strong and healthy. Unlike her father. The old man was unable to feed the child he had named Brigit and so the women gave of their breasts and the child drank. And drank. And drank. The child drank so much from the old wife that she lost her energy and was taken to bed, so the child was passed to a younger stronger neighbour who fed the child for two weeks until she two was weak and worn. The daughter grew fast and strong and as she drank and as she grew the rains waned. When the daughter was passed on, this time to twins who thought to share the burden, the old wife died. The twins quickly perished at Brigit’s hungry mouth both being half as strong as a whole woman. Soon the women refused to feed the girl and their breasts filled full of milk that poisoned them from the inside and bodies rot faster from the inside out. Soon all the women had gone and the men were alone but the heavens were dry at last. The clouds broke, the sun shone and once more in the glen there was colour everywhere as flowers began to open and birds began to sing.

The girl slept every night in her father’s arms for a whole week until early, at daybreak on the last day of the old week she woke her father. She wore a white dress and called to her father to follow her. All the men of the village heard and in their mourning then followed the dainty bringer of sorrow. Climbing down from their tattered and broken tree top shelters they followed Brigit to the edge of the lake that had consumed their village. Taking her frail and lame father by the hand she walked into the lake. She kept walking until it looked as if she might be submerged. Her father tried to stop her going any further but she was stronger than him and he was tired. Slowly the lake levels began to subside. Then the surface of the water was broken by the Old Blacksmith’s chimney. Brigit was drinking the lake the boys called out. And she drank. And she drank. She drank until the lake was dry and the village was returned to the men.

The men cheered. The boys danced. Then their hearts were filled with sadness for their mothers, their sisters, their daughter and wives would never again see the beautiful old village. They all watched the girl who had drank their women away and drank the lake dry. Any anger or hatred was suppressed by guilt and loss. Brigit still holding her old father’s hand pulled him down to her. Some say she whispered in his old ear. Some say she kissed his old cheek. Either way she let go of his hand and walked out through the crowd and up the hill, everyone watching the speck of bright white on the sunny glen side until she disappeared over the ridge and into the desert.

And that is how the women were lost to Lochinvar.

** So this is a little 'legend' that I invented for a novel I might want to right. I decided to set it in Scotland and so invented the name of Lochinvar and low and behold the name has quite a literary tradition and is a real loch that is now resevoir with a submerged castle! My subconcious must be doing the work for me. Also there are a few similarities with this story, I realised about three quarters of the way through writing, with Ceridwen a story by Louise Harley that I choreographed as a dance piece many years ago. The similarities are the heavy rain and the all the women dying. Interestingly these were points that were essential to varying degrees essential to establishing the world of the novel.

EIGENGRAU

2010-03-19T23:55:00.003Z

This Wednesday I went to see EIGENGRAU by Penelope Skinner at the bush theatre in Shepherds Bush. I had a fantastic night. I put it out there that I know Penny and Alison who was in the show. I'm not going to tell you the plot or how great they both are, there are plenty of reviews out there doing both of those things. I wanted to record that I thought the play was great and that the performances were wonderful. I also then read the play today and was again shocked whilst being made to laugh. The dramatic climax of the play is so powerful that I was moved on the bus, reading the stage directions with a grimace and reading the final scenes with a sickening sense of tragedy that nearly moved me to tears on the 63 bus and stayed with me while I shopped in Tesco on the Old Kent Road. Yes, the enduring tragedy of said shopping experience didn't help but it was certainly primarily the effect of this powerful text.

It is always great to see your friends produce work that makes you so proud of them. Like the first time I saw Fran perform, and again when she did 'Those Little Words' or even seeing Stephanie Lane in 'The New Worst Witch' on telly after a hard day's work. Now I have a whole list of things coming to mind but I am not going to list all of my mates and how they make me proud of them,I hope they know that already. I wonder sometimes if it is a strange thing to say that someone's work makes me proud of them, I can't answer that really but sometimes I wonder if it could be thought of patronising. I just remember once someone saying to me: "I can't believe I know know someone who could make that." - I should confirm it was intended as a compliment!

It can also have a mirror effect of reflecting yourself back at you. These are often people who value you as an artist and you recognise their talent so if and when they want to work with you it justifies and confirms your own belief in yourself and your work. Not that my sense of pride is anyway connected to me or my work in that moment. I'm rambling. I think.

I spent the afternoon with Alison O'Donnell and we had a very sedate time reflecting on the ups and downs of the production's progression and our unstable position as artists. She is a very calming and anchoring influence on my current erratic thoughts on my career. More on that at a later date, maybe.

Alison showed me a video of her performing in a school show singing I've Had The Time of My Life, when she was eighteen, it was hilarious and now I'm looking at these pictures and thinking how we can mature and our work can develop in less than ten years...

Uri Geller and Stuart Silver

2010-03-16T13:33:00.004Z

Last night I arrived in Hoxton (yes and no) to The Courtyard Theatre to see an event from The London Word Festival.

Annoyingly the show was advertised to start at 7pm but didn't really start until 8pm and even then it didn't begin until after 8.15pm. Things like that greatly annoy me - HOWEVER - and maybe I shouldn't be saying this but I had heard that the producers had had their laptop stolen recently. The laptop that held all the information about the festival. Having produced complicated ventures before the idea literally sickens me - and yet maybe it will be a freeing and exciting process for them? Maybe?

Anyway the evening was in two halves: A performative lecture about Uri Geller by Nathan Penlington: "Uri and Me". This section as lightly amusing and Uri is quirky enough for extended focus - who knew he was such a raging republican. Also my favourite fact is that he has dowsed for oil with an upfront fee of $1million and another $1million if he find anything. Chance would be a fine thing. Anyway what I realised during this was that magic, which I used to really like, annoys me when ~I don't know how something was done. Although two of the tricks I think I figured out in the shower this morning. Not through practical research but by letting my mind wander and thinking of a magician's tools.

The second half was a sort of darkly comic monologue by a fellow called Stuart Silver who I once saw give a tour in East Dulwich woods. His performance was dark, and there were jokes, but mostly I found it beautifully moving. I felt positive and inspired that the man exists though I felt quite melancholic as I left. He spoke about people and life while playing a ukulele. It was one of the best small performances I've seen in a while despite drifting in and out of concentrating on what he was saying and distractedly ruminating on it. I am left with the impression that humanity is a beautiful tune that at the moment is being played out of tune. I'm not sure if he said that or I thought it while he was performing. I'm not articulating myself well. I liked it a great deal though!

Something else I noted was, and bear with me cos its obvious, is that if you like someone you enjoy their work more. I think it's different from having high expectations. It's about wanting something to be good, therefore it is - I think I covered this when discussing The Take That Musical. I was struck more last night by that idea of flirting with an audience or an audience flirting with performers, whether they know it or not. When I work I nearly always fall [in a special kind of love] for my performers and it is great when the audience can do that too.

This also reminds me of the interview that I had with Kerry, who has sent me a CD of the recording. It's quite painful because even though I am speaking truthfully I can feel myself 'performing' for the recorder. Anyway I shall endeavour to get excerpts either of the recording or a transcription on here at some point. The full thing is an hour. So you won't be getting it all!

Film, Film and Anxiety (& a brief mention of food)

2010-03-09T23:16:00.002Z

So this evening was film/editing orientated around Fran's Heartbreak piece. It should also have involved burning a copy of Why are Clowns? but, and here it today's revelation/moral, anything to do with film takes. for. ever. and is overly complicated. So after achieving mountains of stuff last night I achieved very little this evening. However, I did invent a new kind of butternut squash stew - which is perhaps the most creative thing I have done in weeks.

The applications that I filled in at the end of February would have, if I had been successful, resulted in an interview tomorrow. As I have heard nothing I can assume that I have been unsuccessful. Disconcertingly, I was rather anxious about it all this afternoon and had to unload my concern to two people in order to stop focusing on it. I think I was most anxious because I had not heard anything at all, still not, and I really wanted both or either of the potential roles. Both the texts are so rich and exciting, I guess it just means they are there for me to work on myself in the future.

Dinner was really yumms, my New Stew, Sweet Mashed Potato, Roast parsnips and sauteed zucchini (OK, courgette) and onion gravy. This is completely unrelated to my career but I'm feeling rather smug and highlighting positives!

Busy Day

2010-03-08T23:57:00.002Z

Application central chez my house. I stayed late at the museum to work on some applications and stuff while sitting at a comfortable desk.

So in conclusion this evening I have:

- drafted two applications
- communicated with Mhairi regarding the planning for Thursday and Friday's days in the school
- written a reference for someone
- drafted and sent another important email
- sent some information off regarding a weekend workshop I will be delivering in May on Viewpoints

BUT... I didn't get through everything I was supposed to. I feel like the old days in terms of productivity. It has been good if anti-social.

Where are clowns?

2010-03-08T00:22:00.002Z

As Ewen and I prepare an application to see a potential re-staging of 'Why Are Clowns?' I had a bizarre culmination of events this evening after Fran's show.

Having left the CPT (where the last Havisham performance was) I was carrying one of the wedding dresses to return it to its rightful owner, Helen Morse Palmer. Helen is an artist and throughout Lent is wearing a clown face. You can read her fantastic blog here: Life is Ludicrous Blog

She is a mutual friend of mine and Ewen's. She has worked at the RAH with Fran, Olivia and I and currently lives with Fran. She has appeared in Ewen's past work and lent me the wedding dress she wore for one ("normal") day as part of an art project which, you can see pictures here: Wedding Day

So handing her the Wedding Dress while she was made up as a Clown was just a lot of ideas and themes all coming together.

It felt like being part of an artistic community, which is rare but encouraging.

Instructions for Heartbreak

2010-03-07T23:49:00.002Z

This evening I went to see the show above as performed by Francesca Milican-Slater.

It was funny and I was surprised how much of it I connected with. I would not say that I have ever really been heart-broken. The performance lecture touches on the idea that heartbreak is originally from grief, particularly of a family member. I can understand that much more readily. I have never really held much store in the concept of someone leaving you can be so damaging. Though I have experienced two of the suggested symptoms of romantic 'heartbreak'.

Olivia was present and proffering hot cross buns to the passing masses. I didn't at the time but now I can see a faint resemblance to the bun and the heart above.

Olivia pegged it early without saying good bye but I was very busy cleaning up. Fran offered me a comp in return for helping her clean up. I like this idea of asking other artists to help you to do something to earn free tickets to performances. That way other povo makers get to see work without paying but not for nothing. It allows you to give the work value.

I think it is a great model.

Creativity Matters

2010-03-07T23:42:00.002Z

So the new early years project on Friday was great despite a round commute trip of four hours!

The kids are so excited to be working with different people and the boys seemed especially excited to have a man in the class room. We made spells and practised being pirates before going on an adventure in the garden/playground to find a monster. Running around with a team of miniature pirates with a red scarf tied to my head was very fun and liberating for me, never mind the kids. It's amazing to observe their reactions to everything. Small quiet kids showing interest in things and repeatedly coming to look at and watch what we are doing cos it seems so new and exciting is very rewarding. I can see that over time that kind of behaviour would help integrate children together and really expand their group working.

Plus kids are hilarious. I am still picking it all up but I am very interested in how this project is going to pan out.

Full Day

2010-03-04T21:53:00.002Z

Met with Kerry from Scenepool today at the NT. As part of a research project she interviewed me about my reasons and motivations for making work while balancing a job, little or no financial rewards or recognition. It was very revealing. I had some great insights into my work and why I work that I had never fully identified.

I began talking about generosity and how I think that it is a huge important part of the work I do. I am very generous and open with my personal history and encourage that from my companies so that you build up a knowledge, trust and understanding with one another that builds a level of safety and confidence with the others you are working with to allow that raw exposure to come across on stage to share it with the audience. I am hoping that Kerry will share the recording with me so I can add it to here. Maybe not all of it! It is long and goes on tangents.

It was interesting to discuss the generosity of theatre artists to then go and see my old friend Ben who gave me a painting years ago that I said then that I wanted to buy. I wanted to own his work and actually have bought it. Today I paid for it! Nicely timed after the interview.

Then I went to the office at Chelsea College of Art to meet the team behind the project I start tomorrow called "Creativity Matters". I will be going into nursery and reception classes working to encourage and recognise the creative practice of early years children. It is very interesting project but more about that tomorrow.

If acting was a vegetable...

2010-02-28T23:10:00.003Z

I have spent the entire day, since waking up and finishing a book I've been reading called Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely, working on a couple of applications.

I don't know if it's just me but there is something about theatre related applications that feels so subjective. Perhaps because the work we produce is so personal and responses to that work is so fundamental. Its very difficult to prove one's skills in a CV and yet it seems even more difficult to get someone to come see your work when they have no idea who you are. So I have spent time fussing over fonts and CV layout. I thought I had more to say on this topic, maybe that there is no real measurable font of something being good other than people thinking its good and since when has that been reliable! If we relied on people coming to see our work no one might ever make anything. Except Andrew Lloyd Webber, cos Love Never Dies.

On Friday I had a meeting at 10am to discuss working with a theatre company but for various reasons we never actually met but I did meet with Amy and Miriam who have opened a new arts centre:

http://www.beyond-centre.com

We have agreed that I shall lead a two-day workshop in Anne Bogart's Viewpoints. I'm sure as regular readers of ye olde blog you are familiar with Viewpoints and my championing of them so any chance to share that with other interested parties is exciting. More details to follow on that as they emerge.

I am also due to start work this week for the University of the Arts with my old friend and fellow director Mhairi on an early years focused project in schools in North West London... more to follow on that also.

Theatre vists and ME ME ME, or should that be I I I

2010-02-22T21:46:00.004Z

I realised that I was going through a bit of a theatre fast. I hadn't seen anything in what feels like ages so when I saw an advert for something that I really wanted to see I contacted AOD to get her to come along, turned out she was already going so I went with her. It was Breathing Irregular at the Gate. I'm so glad I saw it. It was a dance theatre piece that took actual transcripts of 999 calls as its inspiration; balancing text and movement is a constant battle and something (dear readers) I am sure you are familiar is a major concern of mine. I was struck by how similar the style felt to my work in several ways, which was very interesting and exciting. It was quite Shalotty and though I didn't feel it was flawless I was left feeling that it was a very valuable effort and gave an insight into genuine dramatic moments in people's real lives. It had moments that were very moving.

That was Saturday night and on Sunday I went to see 'Shorts' at the Landor Theatre, a venue I've never been to before. It was a really lovely black box space and the quality of the work was exceptionally high. I left feeling a little sad not knowing what would happen to these pieces. I had seen them and so have 130 other people but then what? The text sits on someone's hard drive... waiting for what? How much other great work is sitting around that I've missed. This is the damn problem with theatre it's there and then its gone.

Tonight I am feeling weird. I am filling in some applications and I am feeling both arrogant and scared. I feel I am very capable as a director but I don't quite have the right level of experience behind me and I'm scared that I'm too old to be getting the work that I want to get. I am considering that the applications I am filling will also be filled in by 23 and 24 year olds - which I am not sure there is a point there. Just that I guess the smugness is saying I am as good as high level work I see and yet also why have I gone unnoticed. Arrogance and insecurity, I think they are common bed fellows for creative types so I'm being self indulgent again but that's what the blog is for so ssssssssssh.

Wilkommen Bienvenue Welcome

2010-02-15T20:18:00.003Z

Last night I went to "Pistol and Jack's VD", VD = Valentine's Day. It was a cabaret performance night. Fran performed a snippet from her piece, "Instructions for Heartbreak". Megan Ford is Pistol. I know so many other people with Cabaret pieces...

Consequently, I am thinking of resurrecting my deeply hidden gifts and talents in order to have my own little cabaret act. It seems so expected of everyone now to have something that they can pull out of the hat for such events that is modern and stylish and bite size consumable.

So I might well become a Performance Acrostic Poet:

Brilliant ideas
Long to be shared
Out with all the
Groups and tiny
Gangs of people
Inhabiting the
New cyber
Global Village

I am good at this. Too good maybe, too good.

Just saw this:

2010-02-14T23:57:00.002Z

CALL FOR DIRECTORS

PLATFORM AT THEATRE503

The London Playwrights’ Collective (LPC) is looking for directors interested in working with emerging playwrights and direct rehearsed readings for our Platform at Theatre503 on Monday 22 March. This event will showcase 4 LPC writers whose short play or extract have been selected in partnership with Theatre503.

The LPC is a collaborative, supportive and proactive community for writers. We place the writers at the centre of the creative process, bridging the gap between writing and theatre making.

In addition to directing the piece, the directors will be expected to support their allocated playwright in the rewriting process with proactive feedback. It will then be up to them to cast and rehearse the piece in preparation for the evening, including the writer into the process as much as possible. Whilst we can help with casting, we are sorry that we cannot help with rehearsal space which directors must provide/arrange themselves.

Directors should be available to meet their writer at mutually convenient times and for the whole Platform day for technical rehearsal. The theatre will also be available on the preceding Sunday (21 March) for 4 hours which can be allocated or divided between the directors who wish to work in the space that day.

Interested directors should email us at info@londonplaywrights.co.uk (including the word PLATFORM in the subject line) – telling us why they are interested, what type/genre of theatre they would be happy to work on and what they feel they can bring to this project, including a current CV.

There is no fee on offer for this but we do contribute £10 per director/actor as a token contribution towards expenses.

A passion for new writing is essential!

Deadline: Wednesday 17th February 2010

And it has made me MAD.

I find it so rude. It reads like a list of you will do this, and this, and this and provide this. We'll give you a tenner as a token. To be fair the tenner is more than most of these things offer but the tone of the advert upsets me as it feels competitive and disrespectful.

Theatre has several problems. One is that too many people who are not very good work in the field, that may well include me - who am I to judge. but number two - and just as bad is that people, or camps of groups attack other camps. Eg: Actors blame directors being crap (I have just joined a facebook group called "The most stupid thing a director ever said to me" - or something similar), Directors blame playwrights for scripts not being good enough, and round and round all blaming one another. An essential element of theatre making is the collaborative process. Working together, being open and sharing. I guess in my rant I'm saying that we should all be more appreciative and less expectant of others, we should support others. I suppose we do when we find someone we like and believe in. So maybe this is meaningless.

Anyone else got thoughts on that?

Why Are Clowns?

2010-02-09T23:22:00.002Z

Plead... GUILTY

Playing Catch up, again Feb 2010

2010-02-09T15:54:00.002Z

So after a little upheaval of house transformations I have started back doing my words again. I am committing myself to the words until the first draft is finished. It is enjoyable committing to something and being determined to finish it.

I have also been looking at the BBC writers' room:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/index.shtml

and thinking about drafting a script for their open submissions policy.

I have been feeling a little down and under the weather recently but I'm wondering if that is more to do with having no theatrical endeavours in the foreground of my horizon. The words help me feel, in a small way as I am only doing a small amount a day, creative and engaged with my imagination. I have really enjoyed reading Ursula Le Guin's The Left Hand of Darkness even though as sci-fi it is no way related to what I am writing.

Shalott things tick over but slowly and with difficulties as the shalotts are all so popular and busy they are currently on three different continents.

Housing changes should all be finalised by the end of this month and then I can take control of my life again. It has been stressful even though I haven't moved!

Other things worth noting were going to see Ewen's band perform in Greenwich last week which was very enjoyable. In attendance were Fran (performance Artist), Olivia (Muse), Ceridwen (Actress, Why Are Clowns) and we had lots of laughs and Ewen's songs were very moving. A couple of tracks from Why Are Clowns? actually surfaced which was sort of odd to hear them again sung by different people, and out of context.

Odds and Sods

2010-01-25T13:53:00.005Z

Things that interested me in the Guardian today:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2010/jan/24/artists-day-jobs
...about artists and their day jobs. Quite a weird article in a way.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/jan/23/the-unforgettable-jean-simmons
Obituary for Jean Simmons, note the painful mistake:

"...the early roles that established her reputation were dangerously troubled figures in postwar British classics: Estella, the wilful agent of the destructive Miss Haversham in David Lean's Great Expectations (1946); ... and her career came full circle when she played Miss Haversham in a television version of Great Expectations."

Got my rejection email from JMK promptly, but not really 'disappointed' as I expect it now but this was the last time I would be young enough to apply. However, it has made me re-examine Antigone, which I have enjoyed/am enjoying.

I also, rather big headedly, was thinking about the original Shalott last night and I was thinking about moments in it that were really so beautiful, which I can barely remember creating. I think revisiting it is a risk in a way as we hold such fond memories of it but I think well worth the risk.

Play Reading

2010-01-21T14:53:00.002Z

So this week I have taken to reading some plays.
I read half a play in the bath by talented young writer Penny Skinner. I have yet to finish it but I'm excited to read act 2. I also read a different version of Antigone on the bus journey the other day which I really did not enjoy, it felt very simple.
And I have picked out another play to read then I have a copy of a play from one of the Drive-Thru actors to read. Though... I haven't done many of my words this week. I AM TERRIBLE. But I swear to catch up. Also I have been watching plenty sci-fi as 'research'. Does that pass? Is it a plausible excuse? No. I am just lazy, but actually it has helped.

180

2010-01-18T22:48:00.003Z

No it's not the prequel to the well known homo-erotic film 300 but the Cry of a man on the bus today.
Buses have been the source of drama for me today.
One: I was reading Antigone, as best as could be hoped against the background of human drama.
There was a girl loudly talking on the phone to a lesbian who wanted to have a sexual relationship with her ex-girlfriend without committing to her, choice pieces of advice included: "Well so long as you go at it with a pretext so that when, and I mean WHEN, it all goes pear shaped you can turn it all around and make her feel like its her fault. Cos you have to protect yourself if you don't want to hurt her."
Then there was the Jim Bowen fan club who seemed to tag team with Alf Garnett as he alighted the bus. Alf was very drunk and seemed confused as to whether he thought 'blacks' were English or not, sometimes yes - "born and bred", sometimes not - "go and defend Jamaica". Polish it seemed were certainly not. He was very offensive and I began wondering when, in a situation like this, one should, if ever, intercede. It is often been my mantra, and I think I've mentioned it on here before that I make drama so I don't have to live it. But does that mean that I should follow the path of least resistance. I think a blossoming resolution for 2010 may be to resist the temptation to the path of least resistance and so the journey has begun. I didn't approach Alf because he was firing aimlessly and though he sounded like Nick Griffin he was a lot easier to ignore as harmless. There was a beautifully dramatic moment, how is it drunks know how to play for effect at just the right moment, when he lowered his voice to inform a confident capable young man that:

"One day you are gonna get shot doing a good deed. Think how your family will feel when they see your face on a poster on the side of a bus. How will you feel seeing them see it? BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO HEAVEN"

One hundred and eighty!

In the mirror this evening brushing my teeth with my grannies zip up cardigan (she bought it in Next one day when she was cold and then donated to me) slightly unzipped so I had a sort of collar effect and I thought I looked very theatrical, in an old school kind of way.

I've just taken this and I look exhausted so I am going to renege on my words tonight. Naughty writer.

Playing catch up

2010-01-17T14:07:00.002Z

I have been a bit wrapped up in my writing to post on here. Which is bad. But good for the writing. Kind of. The writing is a very interesting exercise. I've totally accepted that if I ever finish the piece that will be drafted by the end of this month it will likely look nothing like anything I'm writing now. But that is exciting too.

On the theatre front I went to the BET on Thursday and did the get out for Drive Thru, which was very bizarre. It was a month after I had left the show and none of the set was there but the back wall was still painted for the show. It was like going in back in time a little. Turns out Andrew, the writer, is heading back to the US in April. Maybe the show made him homesick?

Post Christmas I was struggling to fit into any of my rank clothes but eventually squeezed into a pair of jeans that are past the point of no return, low and behold, having prepared to get showered in paint, I only got paint on my face.

I have seen two other applications that I want to apply for and Jasmine has asked me if I have anything I want to present at the next BET Trunkated. But after performing as Miss Havisham after a stand up comedian last time I am not convinced my ego is ready for that!

I am taking a look at my theatre career at the moment and trying to draw up a plan of where to go with it. Keep you posted on revelations and any observations most welcome.

JMK II

2010-01-09T11:39:00.000Z

Dear Applicant

Thanks for applying for the 2010 JMK Award.

Your submission has been safely received.

Your application will now be considered.

You will be notified if you are on our shortlist of 20 on Monday 25th January.

Many thanks.

JMK

2010-01-07T18:16:00.002Z

I have been dithering over an application to the JMK Trust today.
Deadline: midnight tomorrow

You have to apply with a play in mind and write 100-500 words about it, then the same about your production and then the same about how you would rehearse it.

You have to choose a play from a list of what they say is 100 plays but that number comes from four lists of 25 plays which have several repetitions. There re many plays on the list that I'd love to tackle but you have to prove that you have the rights to perform the play before you can apply. A good number of the ones I am really keen on are out of copyright (being thousands of years old) but the one I would want to grab hold of "most" is The House of Bernarda Alba by a great writer called Frederico Garcia Lorca, a Spaniard. I briefly worked on it about five years ago. The copyright issue is complex though because Lorca was assassinated in the Spanish civil War in 1936, which is over 70years ago (the UK cut off for performance rights in most cases) but I have seen a 2009 production that said their production was with the permission of Lorca's estate, so I feel I can't quite move ahead if that is the case.

So do I admit defeat, also in the face of coming to the process too late, or do I submit for Antigone or Romeo & Juliet or Titus Andronicus or Phedre or... or.... or..... ?

I'm feeling now I've moaned about it I will apply and be damned.

Day Three: 2010

2010-01-03T23:39:00.002Z

Did my writing today at 11am. Quite proud of myself. I'm wondering if this is distracting me from the real work so I shall need to ensure it does not. Here are some of my musing on the subject, thus far:

2 Jan

1012 words

Very interestingly I was struggling towards the end but that cut off gave me an interesting conclusion to the piece but afterwards I noticed a massive contradiction where the character lives with their parents then suddenly by themselves within a change of paragraph as I am just writing free form. Fun to correct later though!

I don't think I feel like I've written what comes out of me at the end of it all.

Quite pleased. I am able to totally acknowledge that what I am writing is [not good] but just the bare bones of something coming. Once its done I can start all over again and make it good. Which is where the fun really begins

3 Jan

1050 words.

I am getting a very easy reading tone. I finished my 'chapter' and still had 50 words left so I started a sub paragraph that has created a whole new potential plot point and has moved the narrative on a great deal and is why I went over by 50 words.

I nearly wrote an additional 1000 words last night but in the end I was distracted by other things.

I hate some things as I write them but they keep me going and help me keep moving so I accept them as valuable.

Illustration of me at work

2010-01-02T14:25:00.002Z

January Writing Rules

2010-01-02T10:13:00.005Z

So far so good. One day gone and 1000 words have been written with veritable ease (HA!)

The rules I am following/have laid out are thus:

1. You must complete 1000 words a day, minimum.
2. Excess words cannot be carried over to the next day.
3. If you miss a day (this is not recommended) you can do two thousand words the next day.
4. If you miss a day you must either email 100 words or text 140 characters, which must be a full and complete independent story
5. You cannot miss two days in a row.
6. You can write your 1000 words anywhere, anytime from waking up to going to bed.
7. Once your 1000 words has been complete each day you should email/fb/text your writing buddy.
8. Cheating only cheats yourself.
9. Have fun.
10. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

What I have quickly realised about this endeavour is that (for myself personally) is that no great work shall come of it BUT rather it will force me to make decisions and flesh out characters. For some reason I shy away from actual narrative points no far but that is fine. Everything is fine. So long as I am writing I am making decisions but nothing is set in stone. At the end of the month I can easily say: "Ah yes, that's exactly what it should not be." and then start over. No harm done. But I will have been disciplined.

Maybe I should draw illustrations of what I've written so far so that you there can be some images - as frequently requested by thee goodly readers.

End of 2009

2009-12-31T14:18:00.002Z

So I have posted some pics of the post before that was lying barren for so long.

I know I have been terrible this month and I think that is because my relationship with the blog is having to change as I do more and more work. It is essential to keep more and more things personal to myself as I work through them in this very public interface. That is not because they are nasty or mean spirited but because they are personal and private, perhaps not fully formed or are issues that might be working through in a rehearsal that it is unfair, unhelpful or rude to share in a public medium. I have had a busy six months and that relationship has become more and more self evident as I have gone on. But I do not want to abandon my blog - though it may have seemed otherwise this month. In fact I am really rather enjoying this now.

One reason I am probably really getting into this again is that I have time. AAAAAAH Luxury. And yet another is that this morning I met a wonderful actress who we shall call Alison O'Donnell for it is her name. She was great (despite being late) and we had a lovely chat about life and work. She was very complimentary and encouraging, perhaps I can push that even to inspiring for here I am blogging and loving it and really thinking about the future of me and my career again in 2010. Alison confirms that I just need to do the things I know I should do but don't do. Thanks AOD.

Another brief thing I wanted to discuss was watching the original 1975 version of 'The Stepford Wives' and then the 2004 version back to back last night. It was much much more informative than I thought. In terms of seeing where a director's vision and eye can take something, or lose something. Neither was perfect but one was infinitely superior in accepting and serving what the script/story was much more than the latter. But of course that is personal judgement as there were many discussion boards touting the opposite opinion of mine. You can't please all the people all of the time.

And a final point.... in January I am aiming to write 1000 words a day for 31 days. I did a little trial in Scotland and really enjoyed what I did. This should be a much harder but exciting challenge. I will comment on it here but not in great detail as I do not think I will be writing a theatre piece.

I am really looking forward to 2010 post 2009 and wish all my 'readers' the very best too!

HA.

Drive Thru Nativity: The Facts

2009-12-16T15:35:00.004Z

So...

So...

I have been a very naughty boy. If Santa checked his list twice this year I might not get through.I have been blog deficient. I have been blog deficient I think the main reason for this was that I was cautious about approaching the level of documentation with a new cast of actors; plus I was still nervous about the religious aspect of the 'Drive Thru Nativity' text. I am not sure why and I certainly became much more comfortable with that very quickly. I don't feel Andrew's script was militant or promoting Christianity in a certain way but it had love, and respect for other people, at the heart of it.

I think as I got into it I also got very busy and had some very late nights planning stuff that it suddenly felt weird to start blogging the Nativity half way through.

This is all especially disappointing as I had a great time working on this show. The cast have been absolutely charming to with, funny, accommodating and (mostly) hard working. Though several of them did say that my rehearsals where very intensive, which I am surprised at - as I always feel like I'm not pushing people hard enough. Though Alison from Paris and Birdhouse detailed one such incident during the Birdhouse development week where I had pushed them to repeat a scene over and over again until someone was ready to hit me. A moment of which I have no recollection but I know I do like to look at certain difficult moments thoroughly.

A moment in DTN that needed that level of investigation was the end. It was late in the process and it took a few hours to find an acceptable balance between being true to the characters. Andrew, the writer, wanted a sentimental "happy" ending - after all it was a Christmas Show. So we tried out various different ways particularly as we needed to rehabilitate a character who hadn't been very nice, we had to bring the group together without it seeming 'miraculous'. I still don't know if we really succeeded but we got somewhere I was happy with.

The biggest event was one of the wonderful cast being in a terrible car crash on the day of Press Night. It was a terrifying incident. We were all so worried and didn't really know what condition he was in and couldn't decide whether to let the show go ahead or not. We heard from his brother that he was doing well. Although the crash was serious he came out remarkably well but his pelvis was broken in three places and he had to drop out of the show. I stood in as Joseph for two performances. Including Press Night where I received the only negative point in our first review. This review was repeated by my mother who said I just shouldn't have bothered with the accent and that I looked very uncomfortable - charming! Our wonderful Chris was finally replaced by Caleb.

Joseph in the play is a 19yr old, Mid-Western American Christian.
Caleb is 22, from the Mid West and his father is a Pastor. And he also happens to be an intern at the Blue Elephant while studying to be an actor. So the perfect piece of understudy type casting.

Caleb has done a very good job of picking up the slack and as the show settles in front of an audience it has blossomed and gone from strength to strength. I think it is a fairly slick and polished piece of work with all the actors doing a great job.

What really worked here, was something that I started in Checkout. Which was giving actors freedom to respond realistically to their surroundings. It means that some lines in the script lose weight while the occasional ad lib becomes a queue and part of the script/play as we know it. It makes the space more honest but also with this text there was a specific challenge because all the characters were always present and waiting. There should be a sense of boredom without boring the audience, which is always awkward. However, I was happy that that allowed for a very efficient way of changing tone and tempo of the piece. The piece had a very nice shape and change of dynamic particularly in the second week. I was very confident to leave it behind as a nearly finished piece. A lot of that is thanks to the cast grabbing the work that we did and working well together for the benefit of the show. Big Thanks to them all and all the Josephs!

This is the cast recording their parts for a radio broadcast:

Some pics to follow when I return to London (post 27th Dec '09) DONE!

The empty set:

The living set:

Are Actors Mortal?

2009-11-28T15:27:00.003Z

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2009/nov/24/fiona-shaw-neuroscience

Read this article. I find it weird how the actor is held up an ideal and how discussion of how one actor varies from another is limited. Is one experiment on one actor a real discovery? Shouldn't it be done with a variety of actors to find uniformity and even if is discovered that all actors are triggering a certain part of their brain, what does it mean? What does it tell us? I once read that dancers have something in their brain that releases 'happy' chemicals (for want of a more scientific explanation) when they danced. Surely that's obvious, isn't it?
I wonder if Fiona Shaw was hitting pleasure points in the brain performing that text and I wonder if there is a comparable notion of measuring an actor delivering text, a dancer dancing and, say, someone using computer programming who is mad on that.

Well I am talking about nothing because I have a headache. I am hoping to have a post up about Drive Thru tonight. I have been pretty awful during this process but it has been exhausting and hard work. Only five working days of it left.

Drive-Thru Week One & DryWrite

2009-11-14T00:12:00.003Z

Today was the end of week one rehearing Drive-Thru Nativity. I am really enjoying it. The cast are lovely and working very hard and we are making very good progress and building a nice jumping point for the show. From Sunday we will start looking for more detail and looking at the elements that surround the raw acting... cue actors singing and some minor movement works.

I will try to take more images and stuff next week, it's just that the lighting in the theatre is a bit rubbish. No, I'm really just making excuses.

Tonight I went to see a DryWrite show at the Trafalgar Studios called 'The Act Going Home Tonight Is..." in which 8 characters were presented to the audience in a 5min monologue each. Then the audience voted and the acts with the most support went onto the next round. The first round was very strong with all the acts doing very well. I could have voted several times over. The second round was weaker and the third round was an easy choice. As ever my favourite was not chosen but the night was very chilled and relaxed and everyone seemed to be having a great time. Maybe it was because I knew participants and many people in the audience but it felt like a very laid back and social event. I am really looking forward to the next one.

Also, on a semi-related note, I went to see Michael Jackson "This is it" at the cinema yesterday. It was fascinating to see such a huge event being rehearsed and to listen to how people communicated and how they resolved disputes or misunderstandings. And only today did I quoth Michael:

"That is why we rehearse."

so many things

2009-11-10T21:37:00.002Z

It has been a while.... and things that have taken place in that time are small but perhaps numerous.

+ Rehearsals for Drive-Thru Nativity started on Sunday. It was very relaxed, some games, singing carols, reading the script, thinking about script and chatting about themes. All important ground work and a pleasant Sunday.

+ Had a meeting with the Shalotts regarding a potential revival. We had a very pleasant evening in the South Bank Centre.

+ Had a Paris Hilton cast reunion which was lovely to see everyone again. I never see enough of people I want to see.

That doesn't sound like a lot but I've been so busy. Oh yes:

+ Working on information for the students we will be working on with STEP. Editing Elsie's fascinating "History of Southwark" from which I will draw up inspirational characters for them.

+ Had a design meeting with DTN designers which was interesting and is going to look great if we can wring enough out of the budget.

I had an idea for the show tonight that I am just not sure about yet but am very interested in exploring. Let the fun commence with the real rehearsals tomorrow.

Drive Thru Cast

2009-11-02T23:22:00.002Z

So this weekend casting was complete and we are very happy with the cast we have. I am really looking forward to getting stuck in. We had a very high calibre of actors at our final workshop and it was a mixture of some people being perfect for certain roles and hard decisions to be made on other roles where several people were strong and able. I am very happy with our decisions.

I now have to finalise the creative team and am meeting some people on Wednesday to talk things over. Things are gearing up and the first rehearsal is on Sunday!!

Drive Thru Auditions

2009-10-27T00:02:00.002Z

On Sunday (After one brief day off) I was at the Blue Elephant Theatre for auditions.

We had really packed them in two actors every quarter of an hour based on no shows etc. This was a really wise decision as it meant we were skipping along nicely all day and the normal level of no shows and sudden illness meant that we were rarely stuck for things to do and never overly subscribed. We saw a lot of people with a lot of potential and I hope that they all shine on Wednesday for the workshop recall.

"Laminated" Day 5

2009-10-26T23:35:00.006Z

So its been a delay, I appreciate that!

Friday was a day of trying to get the whole piece up on its feet. In doing so I realised how much I had simply scratched the surface of the play. There is so much to get your teeth into and get hold of that examining the relationship between the two main characters felt like such a small part of the piece though I stand by it being an essential and important part.

The peice looked like this from the tech box where I was sitting:

I was just left with the feeling of wanting to do more with it. I may have said this already. It is very difficult to offer up to an audience something that is essentially not ready to be seen. No matter what you say, they always judge it as a finished piece. One gent, when invited to give us the bad feedback, said he thought there were too many words. Which I don't entirely disagree with but I think I took it a little to heart immediately as I feel the a) the piece is about a writer and so words are an important medium and b) it was a rehearsed reading so it was more about the words because the actors had scripts in their hands. I felt the emphasis of his statement was wrong. I think is my point. I do not refute that he may have a point and is certainly entitled to an opinion.

Anyway I thought I'd include this little video that includes part of the bear story form the show if only to show the beautiful bear.

The puppetry is not masterful and was not really addressed during the week so we lost a lot of valuable time staging this for the audience to see despite in no way interrogating that work...

Which led me to question if we should have shown the whole thing or just shown elements of what we worked on. I can't decide because if you show just the work then it has no context. If you show the whole show, you have to choose what work to show and so inevitably you/I veer on trying to make it a good show rather than just highlighting the work. Part of that was that I overloaded the actors with instructions who were great and remembered 95% of it.

That is the story of Bradford. I had a great week. Worked with great people in a great space and had a room with bunk beds... does it get any better than that?

Then of course I had to get up for a train at 0730 on Saturday morning!

"Laminated" Day 4

2009-10-23T01:12:00.002+01:00

The Final Countdown

Another busy day. We spent a good chunk of the day working on the relationship between the two main characters.

We have developed a relationship for them, with a variety in the scenes, that I am happy with. This is them at work:

Today we also started thinking about the final presentation seriously so we have started arranging props and thinking of technical elements. I have spent this evening going over the script and after discussing with Darren what his original idea for the development period was I feel I have not been radical enough. He said he would have liked a movement created inspired by the piece. Now perhaps at the start of the week. Having not worked on the text as much I may not have been in a place to do that. Now, I am half regretful that we didn't dive in and do that. I'm trying not to think what it might have been and make the best of what it is. I am just not sure if it gives Shooting Fish enough of an insight into the piece. Or not the kind of process they were aiming for. There is always more that you want to do - but as I went through the script tonight trying to shape it a little I felt that there is so much we haven't touched on. The script has so much in it a week is not enough to really develop it and get to grips with it from a cold start.

I sound like I'm moaning? It's not that. Just that when you have started working on a piece it's hard to let it go without finishing it and I can see that insight.

"Laminated" Day 3

2009-10-21T23:44:00.006+01:00

Another very busy but exciting day...

We began by going through Anne Bogart’s Viewpoints which comprises the following nine strands as a vocabulary for investigating theatre:

TEMPO
REPETITION
SHAPE
DURATION
SPATIAL RELATIONSHIPS
GESTURE
KINESTHETIC RESPONSE
TOPOGRAPHY
ARCHITECTURE

This process is fairly long though I took these guys through it very quickly and I am sure they have done similar work before so they took to it very well and committed to all the daftness it entails. Then we used the physical kind of improvisation to explore the main characters and their relationships. What happens is not that everything is brilliant but that moments appear that influence or shape how you see the play. In this video I captured a really nice moment by chance, let me know what you think:

After that we did some work which is related to Viewpoints which is called Composition. Actors are given brief instructions, a minimal amount of time and resources to create a performance. In this pic you can see the list of instructions that I gave them for the second piece (the list is edited from the first list of instructions):

The pieces we looked at were titled: The Bear's Story, Katie & Charlie and Charlie's Writing.

We then read through all of the scenes that we've decided are real memories that happened between Katie and Charlie and from that drew out a timeline of their relationship.

I am sure I did Drive-Thru stuff when I got back from having a totally delicious Indian feast. My memory of the evenings gets a bit fuzzy as I start to work through tiredness and am doing several things at once. I also edited the timeline into a chronological script of scenes for the actors to work through today.

We are getting somewhere, I just keep having to remind myself that we are one day ahead of the proposal to accommodate the 'performance' tomorrow night.

"Laminated" Day 2

2009-10-21T01:53:00.006+01:00

Welcome into my space:

So that's where we are working. It is a really lovely space and has clearly been done up recently. It is the cleanest space I have ever worked in in my life. A total pleasure. it is also really big, the playing space. It probably seats over a hundred.

Yesterday we started by doing some time limited writing tasks. Basically I set the actors the challenge to write continuously about one character or another until I told them to stop to see what ideas came out of their head. With the bigger characters I felt that I could have pushed them further as we perhaps only really scratched the surface in the time they had. We wrote the notes up together as part of a discussion:

We then chose some scenes that we felt we wanted to work on and applied a questioning technique to them. This involved the actors questioning each line they heard and the other actor having to answer them to the best of their ability. It often snuck off into tangents, some confusing, some very revealing about the characters, and sometimes it just helped clarify that everyone was talking about the same thing. It is actually very difficult to be on and off the script like that when you haven't learnt it.

Then we took the same scene and reduced every line to the least it could be, and still make sense. Sometimes it only made sense with quite a lot of acting around it to make it clear who was being talked about. This exercise worked and didn't work. Towards the end of the scene the parity really helped build a tension and rhythm but earlier in the scene simple points had to be laboured that could have been solved by just having an extra word or too. And that is the point of the exercise. To appreciate the value of what is there and figure out how to use what you have.

We then picked several key scenes, which after uniting we felt needed attention, and explored them. Some of them I reshaped to suit my style - particularly the end of the piece. Then there is a very complicated scene about the main character's mother [which involves her being drawn on a whiteboard] which I was struggling to penetrate so we looked at that before leaving to really think about how to make it clear to the audience - well if I don't get it I can't help an audience get it. It was solved very easily in the end but with a fair amount of discussion, trial and error and probably the most direct input from Darren (the writer) that day.

A little round up of the day's events:

I then spent a large portion of the evening going through Drive-Thru castings. If it wasn't insensitive I'd take great pleasure in posting some of the dreadful things people put on their applications. There is a huge difference between:

"I have an excellent natural American accent."

and

"I can perform with a Standard American accent, which I used in Jitney."

It is demoralising going through all of these girls and having to look for a reason to keep them on the list rather than reason to get rid of them. Something needs to stand out and I'm probably too generous. Getting closer though.

"Laminated" Day 1

2009-10-19T23:24:00.005+01:00

I know the question on everyone's lips. Time to be put out of your misery:

I slept on the bottom bunk. you can probably tell if you look at yesterday's pic close enough!

Today was very productive.

We started a little late due to traffic issues and people travelling long distances so we started at 11am. Began with some games and exercise. One of the first exercises we did was "Yes and..." which involves telling a story and then someone interrupting to build on where the other person has got to. One of the themes of the play is memory and how we reconstruct it and the characters often question the other on how they are remembering things, so I altered that game an called it: "No, it wasn't quite like that..."

One actor had to tell a story and when the other felt they could they'd interrupt and correct some crucial fact and carry on the story, then the first would do the same again. One of these exercises went a little like this:

1: There was a very small cute kitten and he was very lonely so he approached a house
2: No, it wasn't quite like that. He was a tiger that escaped from a zoo and he was attracted to the house because he could smell human flesh.
1: No it wasn't quite like that. He was attracted to the house because he was very hungry and there was bread baking inside.

I've completely mis-sold that exercise but it worked very well in the room and when we read through the play together I was struck by how even more relevant the exercise was to the text as I heard it fresh. It was really fascinating that despite reading the play a few times (and this is common) hearing it spoken makes it new. You hear new ideas and thoughts.

After lunch we came back to the flat to unit the text as we needed a table. Uniting a text is where you break it down when the action changes. Like Why Are Clowns? or any play with no scenes it become all the more important but it can be done with any text. Like Why Are Clowns? or Remembering Rose it becomes even more important when you are playing with chronology and memories.

This is what the border of the script looks like after uniting.

It also gives us a frame to work to: Turn to page 12, unit 34.
Some units are a single line, some are 3 or four pages. There are no hard and fast rules.
We finally finished uniting at 7pm. The whole text took us about 4 and half hours. It is laborious but so useful and again, its a stage on from hearing it allowed. As well as breaking it down into sections (units) it's an opportunity to really ask questions and get ideas from one another as you go along. Deciding where to end a unit can involve making strong decisions.

By the end we were all weak. So we boys made a dash to the supermarket but Emily, the only girl, had come prepared with food.

Then this evening I have been going through castings for Drive-Thru Nativity. I've realised a fundamental error. The characters are all named after the characters they are playing in the Nativity but in the play they spend most of the times portraying the actors assigned those roles. Consequently we have fewer actors wanting to play Donkey or the Wise Men but they are actually really decent parts!

"Laminated" Day Zero

2009-10-18T23:01:00.005+01:00

I got into Bradford at 22.30 or something, hoped in a taxi that dropped me on a very deserted street outside Bradford College. My battery as running low as I called the security guard who knew nothing about what I was talking about. Got put through to someone else. Battery beeping. He says he has no idea whats going on either but will come over and is sure everything will make itself apparent. Which it did!

I am in my small en-suite room with Bunk Beds!

I am spoiled for choice. Will I go Up or Down? Place your bets: NOW.

Just perusing my plan and re-reading some stuff about Viewpoints (a technique I will be using this week) but mostly reading stuff I won't be using this week. It's such a great technique and I'd love to explore it more but its so difficult to get a group of people together. You really need a company of people dedicated to working on it for a while, I believe, to see how far it could go which I am convinced must be great because even initial contact provides remarkable results.

It is generally designed to be worked as a group and my group this week is only two people so it will be interesting to see how it works, I've been going over how to apple something that imagines a group near ten people working with two. It is sort of an interesting challenge for me in that respect.

However... all that said, tomorrow is text day and I am really looking forward to interrogating it.

Caeser

2009-10-16T11:27:00.002+01:00

Went to see Julius Caeser at the Blue Elephant last night. A funny evening as I was introduced to many people but was feeling a little withdrawn. I had a very funny realisation watching the show last night, which I rarely think when I'm watching theatre - is how live it is.

Shakespeare is tough and Caeser is a tough Shakespeare. It was a really brave choice by Ricky (the director) and although it doesn't always work it is a very modern production.

It has certainly whet my appetite for doing a Shakespeare in the near future.

Bradford

2009-10-15T23:01:00.002+01:00

So this week has been interesting....
and with a lot of co-operation from the museum and the Blue Elephant I have been able to accept a job to do some play development in Bradford next week (yes very short notice) for a company called Shooting Fish.

The play is Laminated by Darren Bolton.

The script is something I can relate to in the way that Ewen's musicals are nothing like what I make but feel like there are similar themes and ideas, I think this play is the same inteh way it plays with language and structure, and is about memory. It reminded me in that sense of Remembering Rose. The point being that these things make taking the job all the more exciting.

I will be living in halls of residence and rehearsing from 10-6 for five days then there will be a 'performance' on Friday evening. I have a structure of where I want to go but as always I wish I had more time. I hadn't known about the performance when I did the proposal so I have to try and factor in time to shape the work so it can be shown. It will not be a show... I am assuming some kind of illustrated read through. Reading scenes we haven't touched then showing pieces that relate to certain scenes.

I'm not gonna jabber but I will keep you all up to date.

STEP

2009-10-08T21:59:00.002+01:00

This afternoon I had a meeting with Kingsdale School about our STEP project. Elsie and I met with the teacher that we worked with last year to set dates and arrange the schedule/work pattern.

She was very on board, supportive and open to the work we want to do. It should be a fun couple of days in November in the middle of Drive Thru rehearsals. Luckily the dates don't collide with any rehearsal days.

Then this evening I replied to an ad about directing some Shakespeare pieces for October that also doesn't clash with any dates. Which got me thinking about my CV and how it is not available on line yet except for on the Young Vic website and then I thought that I don't think I've ever shown that on here so I thought I would put it on today for no good reason:

Teafer

2009-10-07T21:55:00.002+01:00

Cycled 16 miles today which is not really part of my career but part of my mental reprogramming. I need to get back on top of stuff and if I can't run I must exercise. Discipline.

I met with Teafer's Dave and Janey to discuss Checkout. It was a positive and upbeat meeting. The guys felt they learned a lot to take forward into their next production. I was able to unload how I felt I had gone wrong with the rehearsals and how that was partly related to feeling constricted by time and therefore skipping vital steps in my process.

A very busy day but again don't feel I have achieved enough.

and it needs to stop.

Drive-Thru Nativity

2009-10-07T01:16:00.003+01:00

Today I signed up to be the director of the Blue Elephant Theatre's Christmas show: Drive Thru Nativity.

I will be rehearsing from November. It is a funny play based on the genuine phenomenon of huge American churches staging Drive Thru Nativities. They are a series of short scenes and images that are driven past and the driver & passengers get their nativity story provided to them like junk food.

The show is also the final production in the Blue Elephant's 10year anniversary season:

Richard Curtis

2009-10-05T22:48:00.003+01:00

I chose this pic form the web as it most reflects the image we saw of him today. Some may disagree.

Chris and I went to The Theatre Royal Haymarket (which you may remember from my application to be apprentice director) to see a talk by Richard Curtis (Four Weddings and a Funeral, Notting Hill, Love Actually). It has been suggested that I should also mention his extensive work on telly including: Blackadder, Mr Bean and The Vicar of Dibley.

I have to say he came across very well. He was incredibly charming, fairly candid, mostly lightly and easily amusing. I say this as if I am writing an article for a smug Sunday paper magazine because I didn't think I was going to take to him much at all. For as much as Love Actually left me in tears at the end I was also left tearing myself apart inside for finding it a viciously contrived and suggested anyone can find love, in many different ways, so long as you are white and wealthy. That seems an overly aggressive attack on the man that I saw today who spoke about how he writes and often spoke of how he was still learning and mentioned specific things he thinks he still need to learn and how he felt he had learned some of the skills he is famous for. And he gave a very genuine remark about finding a cure for malaria being far more important than his writing - Curtis is also heavily involved with Comic Relief.

His non-wife was conducting part of the interview and she was also very charming and witty.

Not longer after on the pavements of Regent Street I bumped into Olivia. Which was a surprise and a total treat. She was heading to work where I had to shoo her off to as my bus arrived in fear that she was going to board with us. (I am only writing this because Olivia is a constant source of encouragement and I promised to mention it on my blog. She is so Fame Hungry.)

Not sure...

2009-10-02T23:26:00.002+01:00

I am not completely sure what to say.
I feel on one half that nothing is happening and on the other half that lots is happening.
Lots of little things that involve wrapping things up, pushing things along, starting things up and restarting things.
I have like a buffet career at the moment.

I suppose I will add more details as and when they present themselves.

Dressed as a Man

2009-09-30T15:37:00.003+01:00

I had a surprisingly great night last night.

In my mind I was JUST popping to Ewen's to work on a song of his that I've been listening to a while (I Dress as a Man) with a singer, Mandi.

Ewen and Olivia were very welcoming to their flat, which inside was like a delightful country cottage. accommodating me in my stinking cycling clothes, heating my soup and lavishing me with vegan muffins.

When Mandi arrived we got straight to work. There were two versions of the song. A short one and a long one. We opted for something between the two which rounded out the story more but cut down repetition of the chorus too early. As is highly documented - my musical gifts are limited - so it is always fascinating for me to discover how the music can be used to inform the action/lyrics - beyond sounding delightful. This was very clear in the first chorus... which is rousing and difficult to sing. I asked Mandi to try and make it seem 'conversational' but to do that made the technical singing more difficult. Which added to the piece rather than distracted, I felt. It's like when an actor acts: they should, where possible, have something to repress or hide or to pull them in the opposite direction of what they are saying/doing. Here the music was doing one thing while the actor was doing doing something else so that inbuilt counter tension was automatically present. Which was a very exciting revelation. I'm sure that is a fundamental basic of musical theatre but I am glad I found it myself.

Also what was great is that I would talk nonsense trying to explain how I wanted Mandi to try something and she would translate that into something technical that she could understand and apply practically. And that collaboration of communication was very exciting and rewarding. She got everything and added extra layers to the song. It made me wish we had longer to really cement it and let all that work settle into something so that she didn't have to think about it anymore and let the song be what it is.

By the end of the rehearsal I was moved and excited by the song.

I had fantastic evening working with Ewen and Mandi but I don't have any images or record of it as I left my phone at home!

Bits and Pieces

2009-09-25T23:39:00.003+01:00

Lots of stuff going on.
- I am in discussions to direct a Christmas show! La di dah.

- I am looking at writing more stuff. And I mean a lot more.

- I have been reading a play that I need to send in a proposal ASAP to do a development week. The play, very interestingly for me, feels not a million miles away from my past work - so it would be really interesting to deconstruct it. It is a very gentle sensitive piece of writing with beautiful imagery; it is both clean and complex.

- I went to see a play at the Blue Elephant last night called "The title of the drama about Ante is Written Here". I am very frustrated because I was very sleepy before I went into the darkened room so I struggled to stay awake despite finding the show fascinating and beautiful with some wonderful performances. Bizarrely in my altered mind state the show feels like a pleasant, bittersweet, distant memory rather than the vivid piece of theatre that it was last night.

- This morning, after snoozing my alarm four times, having a shower and going back to bed, I managed to arrive early to Fran's to work with her and her proto-boyfriend of many years, Henry:

As if seeing Fran's beautiful mug wasn't enough it was great to work with her a little on that piece that I have enjoyed several times in the past. She is performing tomorrow at the Rag Factory but I cannot go because my mum is in town to watch my sister run round the city dressed as a Gorilla.

Satis House?

2009-09-22T00:41:00.004+01:00

On Saturday my bus got diverted and I ended up going down a street I don't usually go down. I saw a great building that would be perfect for HAVISHAM.

It sort of disappeared from my mind after my initial excitement but today I was reminded and did a little investigation. It was quite complex as it doesn't seem to have a proper address. Anyway with some deduction and a few phone calls I eventually was able to leave a message with the property developer.

The building is empty. It has recently been sold. It has been empty for six years and now... the developer told me when he rang me back that is due to be pulled down very soon and is unsafe. Though I was very disappointed, the developer was very enthusiastic and has asked me to send him a list of requirement for the kind of property I am looking for - in an ideal world - that he can forward to his contacts to see if they can locate something similar.

My requirements do keep bouncing back on the email but the ideal 'house' in my mind would be:

Victorian
Within zones 1 & 2, near good transport links
Have a good number of empty rooms
Have hard (uncarpeted) flooring (in most of the rooms)
Feel empty or abandoned
Have one very large room or Hall

So keep your eyes peeled too!

This Checkout is Closed

2009-09-22T00:25:00.004+01:00

Well Checkout is finished.

I didn't blog nearly enough in the final days and during the run because I took myself on "holiday". It has been a very long past few months with Paris, WAC and Checkout

After my holiday, I realise that I was very tired and stressed as the show opened. I had been working very long hours and pushing things which would have perhaps fallen into place easier if I had been more relaxed.
I had scheduled for rehearsals right up until the get in/tech day, whereas in retrospect probably more technical time would have been of a greater advantage. Lights and sound were not huge technical issues but co-ordinating them all with the video projection, then with scene changes thrown in. It all just could have had a bit more time and focus.

Also the play jumps forward in time twice and perhaps I should have made more clear in the direction that eventually was solved with a "Two months later" projection, which I really wanted to avoid. It is hard to read what an audience will take in and register after you have been looking at something literally 12 hours a day. You become immersed. And I guess that is what previews are for to see what the audience follows or not. With six shows there is no time for previews unfortunately.

It was a difficult show for me in terms of technical issues but the audience responded favourably and they laughed. That is the biggest concern in a comedy. Will anyone laugh. Of course no laughs at the bits that I find hysterical but they all laughed at things that I didn't expect. I watched it three times and each time it felt like the whole audience spontaneously got different jokes on different nights.

Great work from a hard working bunch did this show very proud but I am not ashamed to admit that it was personally a struggle for me to balance the tone and work on a comedy. Like with Paris I kept having to remind myself that it was allowed to be funny.

Being challenged is great and I would not shy away from comedy in the future. I think I learnt a great deal about how to re-examine what a rehearsal schedule needs to be as a response to the show rather than how I am most comfortable working.

10-10 Checkout (Thursday and Friday)

2009-09-11T23:31:00.003+01:00

Thursday we were in the Etcetera without Janey.

We mostly worked through all of the Shop Floor scenes that call for a lot of bodies on stage. It was important to see them all on stage and see how they bunch up and how the size of the stage effects things. We worked on the logistics of one scene that has a slightly more complex set up and stage structure, with two scenes basically happening simultaneously. What was interesting was that the doors had a major effect and at least three actors, dear actors, left by walking up the theatre stairs instead of going out of the door because of how we had imagined the door in the rehearsal room. Much merriment was had.

Frolics on the Lock

Was a beautiful day and the room was so dark we were all gagging to get out. It was almost more exhausting working in that room than the rag factory as there was no daylight you constantly felt like it was the middle of the night. Energy seeping.

Friday:
Another long day. Started with Janey back (YAY) going over new text that she had written since Wednesday.

Here are Janey and Steph discussing the intricacies of the phone call text since the rewrite and how that might play out.

We then had a full cast 'read'through to pick out moments where text was not quite working, provide discussion points for Janey and the cast over lines that may have been causing problems, and to build energy into a run.

The run went really well and pulled out some key moments that needed technical polishing. So we did work on those for almost 2 hours over various scenes. Lots of repetition and looking at the timing and/or volume of moments. Not creative as such but committing to telling the story.

After that was all done I recorded an announcement from Stephen before he headed off to his birthday soiree:

In the evening I worked one-on-one, man-to-man, man-to-woman, actor-to-director with Stephanie Lane.
This was a fab evening of just investigating the text of key moments and 'speeches' that her character has. It was really fun working with Steph who really committed to all the silly things I asked her to do. I think I certainly understood the character more after that work, and I think Steph felt we uncovered some things too.

It was a very good day and I feel much happier going into next week at the level we achieved. A good weeks work.

Etc Etc Checkout: Janey Takes it by the Reins

2009-09-09T22:47:00.006+01:00

Today was a strange beast.

I am not sure how to explain but it was very different to an experience I've had in a rehearsal room before. With Megan she has been there from Day One but Janey is coming in at a really awkward stage in the process where it is half ready, and as I said to the cast it is already at a stage where it is better than some fringe shows I have seen well into their runs. But up until her arrival we have all been interpreting and investigating Janey's words (and sometimes re-writing them) it has been a sort of relief to have her there and just wave a magic wand of sticky moments with knowing the resolution or agreeing a line change to smooth things over.

Janey Watching

I felt this afternoon - when I was at my tiredest - that I was really there to help facilitate Janey's vision. It wasn't about me, or us, working through something it was showing something that we had worked on and Janey saying yes or no, or rather more of something, less of something else and then me working with the actors to get them there and then shaping the scene based on that clear intention. There were moments when Janey was clearly directing the piece and that was fab. She knew what she wanted and was comfortable in the room to go for it. It felt very collaborative without any discussion or game plan.

I think I felt this happened because of the stage the piece is at and the specific textual points we have been discussing.

10-10 Checkout: The Writer Arrives

2009-09-08T23:32:00.003+01:00

Janey Lawson came into the rehearsal room today. Which was fantastic. We were able to talk all our script questions through - which she should be working on right about now. As soon as she has stepped off the stage in Windsor where she is currently performing.

Again, another long day for me. This time my comrades in arms taking in the full length of the day were Kate Bell and Alexis Leighton:

They are bosom buddies in the show so have many of the same scenes together and today all the action was taking place on the shop floor.

As there were a lot of us in we decided to go for a curry lunch together which, though slow, was delicious and bonding:

at the last minute were joined by the designer Abi who was coming to take measurements on leotards - for the shows extensive movement and tap sequences, ah if only!

Later in the evening we moved in a rehearsal room that resembled a bomb shelter where Kate was caught acting on camera... I think this pic sums up where this show is going a bit. High octane and bewildered with a smile.

10-10 Checkout Rehearsals

2009-09-07T23:50:00.004+01:00

Today from 10am until 9.50pm (with breaks) I was in the Rag Factory on Brick Lane rehearsing Checkout.

My partner in the 12 hour day was Miss Stephanie Lane, who plays the role of Elspeth in the show.

There were peaks and troughs. Mostly in my energy and creativity. I am not sure if I constructed the rehearsal schedule to purposely hold all of the difficult emotional scenes in one day but I'm very glad I did. It really feels like it has broken the back of the beast. And though there were laughs and gags in there today - one incredibly funny moment where I couldn't stop laughing - I feel like tackling these scenes means we can relax and have more fun with the rest of the scenes.

Some acting? or just actors looking funny.... you decide!

BAC Havisham on-line!

2009-09-07T23:41:00.002+01:00

This is a slightly edited form (-1m 40secs) of the full edit of this scratch performance at the Battersea Arts Centre.

This was a fantastic day and the amazing cast of 40 pulled this all together from nothing in 5 short hours. The video is a slick form that yet only gives an impression of 40 marching Havishams. It misses key elements such as the screaming woman from the audience who is terrified of the Havisham on stage. Some things were just not available in footage or did not translate to the film or the editor and myself have just decided were a bit crap and the video needed cut down. I was just talking and talking and talking when the show was supposed to be about Miss Havisham. But it was a great step in terms of size and stepping forward with the idea of Miss Havisham and it has spawned 3 sequels so far.... finished production coming sometime soon.

I'd really appreciate any comments on this one!

This video was painstakingly produced by Chris from some of the worst footage you have ever seen. He has done a great job!

Checkout Week 2

2009-09-07T00:29:00.002+01:00

Starts tomorrow.

I have done, we as a company have done a weeks worth of preliminary work and on Friday we were able to stumble through a couple of runs.

There are script issues that need ironed out but the cast have done a great job in a week and we can only build on it all when people aren't holding scripts.

I shall start to document the work more closely as we haven't been on full creative steam this week. It's been logistics and foundation building.

Charge forward.

The Whole WACky Show

2009-09-05T00:07:00.009+01:00

So the show...

Why Are Clowns? was one of 5 short pieces being presented in one evening. We were on after the interval. During the first half Chris and I were charging batteries and downloading footage from the run through. I say we but he burnt his leg from having the baking hot laptop sitting on his lap for so long, the machine is very old and tired and need cables held in place, it needs plenty of TLC.

When we thought it was action time we stood in the vestibule to the entrance of the theatre, and waited. and waited. Then it was action stations. Without talking the set was put out, the lights thrown up, the white balance set on the camera and suddenly we had to wait for the audience to come back. Awkwardly not all of the audience had left so they watched us set our eggs and pour the apple juice/whisky. I was in the 2nd row preparing to film but was quickly able to move into the front row after a conversation with a gent about the piece and making theatre etc etc

Then the show began:

The Clown

Cracked Lino

The Dancer

Would You Like to Learn to Dance?

The Pianist

Oh September...

I spent much of the show trying to figure out where people would be, and as I was using the secondary camera and I did not have enough memory to film the whole show, only a little more than three fifths, so I was carefully selecting which bits to film without knowing necessarily how it would be edited together.

I did notice that without any comment and just from one run through Hilary, who was running the show, had corrected about 98% of all the slight timing errors with the lights that had been in the run through. One other thing worth noting about the lights is that there was a problem with one of the lanterns and as it faded it would flicker quite noticeably. Completely unintentional but is added a great deal of mood to the piece and in the final moments there was a flicker on the frozen dancer between black out and curtain call. We could have changed the lights to avoid the flicker but instead we have chosen to extend the flicker in the edit and work it into the piece. A little moment of serendipitous theatre magic that you could hardly plan.

Another key thing was that all the hullabaloo about organising the eggs was in vain because the moment flopped. The egg did not break on queue. The egg did not smash at all despite Andrew giving it a might wallop. Let me explain. He put the egg in the top pocket of his shirt then hits it so it smashes and the yolk and yucks runs down him in a sort of cod metaphor. However... of course it didn't smash anyway but he was also wearing his jacket so it would have been mostly hidden behind there anyway as we hadn't choreographed where to remove it as he hadn't rehearsed in it - Lesson 1.

Lesson 2 - The audience brings a clarity of vision to the piece and without speaking to them I could see the same flaws as them in a way that I couldn't in the rehearsal space. Which is worrying. You begin - or rather I had begun to take things for granted, so had begun to assume the audience would know them when they could not. It was an important reveal, but not a devastating blow to the piece, that could have been solved by changing one word.

However, in the end it was very well received. The audience let out a great cheer and it is clear from the video that it was not from the majority of mine and Ewen's friends who were in the front row. I am not sure if it was friends of the performers or just how music theatre orientated audiences react but I was very happy with the piece - not that you could tell from the way I ran out at the end. During the final piece (and after a mass walkout by the South London based Horniman crew) we tied and packed and dismantled the bedside table with unending support and tools from the behind the Arcola bar.

It was a long day and has been a long but delightful project that I have thoroughly enjoyed and which feels very successful.

Video coming your way much sooner than expected!

WACkier Days

2009-09-04T23:30:00.003+01:00

So this is in time delay but... WHY ARE CLOWNS?

Day three of rehearsals was in a lovely huge room and in the end was mostly about technical securing with eggs and dancing. Spit and polish as I said before.

I sat at a beautiful desk which held all of my essential tools for the day:

The eggs are in fact a highly important part of the and consumed a lot of brain power for the 4 persons in the room. Figuring what eggs should be where and when and how they were held and transfered, whether they should be hard boiled or not. Then some mug (myself) had to paint them. you may recall the beautiful egg pics from yestertimes with an egg that was professionally painted. For purposes of saving my own ego I have not put that up here to prevent comparison but here are our eggs ready to go if still a little damp:

The eggs were painted later in the afternoon after the performers ahd been sent home and between drying times Ewen and I went over the lighting possibilities. I put my faith in the creativity and provision of the theatre technicians so that I could just invent what was right for the scene from whatever was available in the theatre on the day. I have found that this works very well in most situations. Somehow, miraculously, there is always a look that can be created for what you need very quickly and easily if you are inventive and sparse. I have not had any lighting designs created for a VERY long time.

Day Four.... Tech day:

This is the theatre about three minutes into our get in, which started about 15mins late.

The persons in black are Hilary and Bob the Arcola technicians. They were both great, very helpful and supportive. Chris, who filmed the whole thing, is in white.

We had to arrive for 11.45am but everyone was there at about 10.30 as we are all keen beans. When we got into the space we managed to set everything up, including my bedside cabinet that is covered with a sequin fabric in the pic above. Luckily Ewen gave me and Chris a lift so we didn't need to lug it on the bus. I had a genius brainwave as we left rehearsals that Monday 31st was a bank holiday so parking would be free at the theatre. SO yes we got the set all laid out. Then hung some fairly lights to create a false proscenium arch (which I guess is a kind of lighting design) and set up microphones to record the whole thing. Interestingly it was the first time I felt that filming something was really co-oridnated into the tech time. We managed to very quickly set through all of the lighting and sound queues and when I thought we were going to get a run through of the whole show.... we were kicked out. I had to bargain - not very hard - for a run through and the techs agreed a run through at 7pm

We had about 5 hours to sit out. Everyone ran off to auditions, stationary shopping, lunch with friends while Chris and I guarded the set, props and costumes. I can barely remember what we did to pass the time. Mostly technical stuff with the camera. When people started returnign around six I got Ceridwen to do her test make up which she had not done yet, so that we could be sure she would be able to do it quickly enough in the time needed. And doesn't she look a treat:

Just before 7 we got in and did our run then had to run back out again to let the first show in to set up. In the 30mins that it took to set up and take down the Arcola bar had filled with punters. I had spent the run through filming crazy close ups in stage, and only occasionally noticing the wrong lighting cue here and there but without time to go over any of that and pushed into the bar and the hungry public I started getting very nervous.... so I ate a lot of Lemon Tart.

WACky Days

2009-08-29T22:02:00.003+01:00

Two days of rehearsal down and the Clown is emerging.

DAY ONE:

Our first day began at St. Martins School of Art and Design (or some such) where we in a huge luxurious studio in the basement. We started mainly by just doing a run through to see where we were with it and then Andrew had to run to an audition so we worked Ceridwen on the stuff that is her main focus. It's funny because now its two days later and usually I wouldn't see my work in such detail I guess but it was like (if one were a sculptor) moulding the clay into the form you want it to be then today we began adding the details and then tomorrow will be firing and polishing. Zing! Metaphor.

When Andrew came back we did the same steps with the stuff they do together and so we had a basic idea of the show then at 2pm when we had to leave to let Ceridwen run off and do a show for her Masters. The boys lugged ourselves to Notting Hill and a Unitarian Church to rehearse in their Library (where I learned that the Unitarians are very pro-gays - from a leaflet printed on pink paper. Hmmm. This is interesting: Unitarianism if you were wondering what are Unitarians, as I was) .

In the library there we worked on Andrew's 'big' numbers and routines, basically all the stuff he does solo like we did with Ceridwen. We built a little routine that could be subverted and repeated but again these were just building blocks for the performance.

Then Andrew put on his make up and not unlike the Paris Hilton MAC day, I was totally freaked out. Make up is freakish. It transforms a face and makes it look like something else, yes also still be consciously recognisable as the person who put it on. The face seems somehow detached from reality if you know what the real face looks like. I'm probably gibbering here, but what I know is that make up unnerves me.

DAY TWO:

Back on home ground at the Dutch Barn in the Horniman Gardens. This funny little room has hosted Shalotts, Medea, workshops and now it is home to a Clown and a Dancer.

And today we mostly looked at dancing...

It is a difficult task asking non-dancers to dance. I am not a dancer but I would say I have some ability with dance and I appreciate how difficult dancing can be so for non-dancers and people who feel like they are not dancers it can be very inhibiting but luckily this show calls for both characters to not be highly proficient dancers. Which they execute admirably. That is a cruel joke because actually Ceridwen has had ballet training and is using it well but her character is not a great dancer despite her name and they have both worked very hard and are giving me the results we need.

Today we really did start carving in details and tightening moments and stripping things away and digging deeper and changed our minds back and forth and experimented with ideas that were both well received and highly reviled (OK only one high reviled and rejected idea - which was mine but we didn't know that until we tried it)

What is good is that we have moved away from a clear cut Clown/Villain v Dancer/Victim scenario and it is a very complex relationship and short play. And... which is rare for me, I am looking forward to applying lights to the piece to help shape and construct it so that it is more easily digestible for the audience.

Tomorrow is setting, then some elbow grease for a good spit and polish!

Catch Up 3: Paris

2009-08-27T00:10:00.002+01:00

http://www.theherald.co.uk/features/features/display.var.2527177.0.The_power_of_words_can_make_a_difference.php
Another review.. there is apparently another but it is becoming impossible to find them online.

This one does however feature a misspelling of Janey's name which she has written to the Herald for a correction on!

The girls are keeping well, the show is selling well and they are a hit. Can't ask for much more at the Fringe.

Catch Up 2: Checkout Taping

2009-08-26T15:18:00.005+01:00

This weekend I was mostly taping the filmed sequences of Checkout.

We were in a great little space with some fantastic actors. I laughed a lot whil filming but I don't want to go into too much detail before the show is ready but it was very difficult not to laugh at the script, acting and ad libs while we were taping so as not to ruin the take. It was interesting how different a medium taping is to theatre. The chance to redo things, the ability to splice the best moments together but also having to think of frames and shots and continuity etc etc. Very technical but now I truly appreciate the genius of the clapper board.

The filming was also a good way for the cast to get to know one another and to give us all a good feel for the mood of the script. It is very funny and borderline ridiculous with a heart.

I am sure that one or two of the videos will become youtube starlets in time. Chris has been editing them for the past few days which has been no small task and in the mean time I have finally produced the rehearsal schedule which was a mammoth task of its own... and I am not sure I can interpret it myself, hope the actors understand it. I have many long days ahead on it but I think it will be great fun.

Other than that just constant emails back and forth about various things from design to script.

Catch up 1: WAC

2009-08-26T14:46:00.007+01:00

On Friday Ewen and I met with the cast of Why Are Clowns? again at a church on Shaftesbury Avenue. We had a teeny tiny room but managed to complete our read-through/analysis and then sang through the script a few times. Again, we had great conversations and made new discoveries in the text and started to see how the music informed those choices.

Since then, other than emails back and forth regarding set and programmes and recording the piece, Ewen and I went to the Arcola on Monday evening for the Gala launch of Grimeborn. It was a great atmosphere and they had a very good buffet laid on but in the end my nightmare feet got the better of me and I headed home before seeing the show. I have been having major problems with my feet all week so trying to do lots of sitting down before I get into rehearsals as I like rehearsing on my feet.

WAC begins rehearsals in earnest this Friday and the performance is this Monday! So SOON, already.

On yer bike

2009-08-19T22:34:00.002+01:00

This morning I ran 6 miles and then, through the day, cycled 15 miles. For me I really believe that being fit is a professional advantage, so I am never sure why I let myself become unfit. Food for thought. I also think exercise needs discipline and physical discipline can pass over to mental discipline as exercising for me is often a mental challenge and mental stamina. I'm not sure where I am going with this. Oh yes I also think regular exercise brings structure. This is all talk but something I would really like to put in practice.

The main reason I cycled so far was because I had to rehearse two small scenes that I am filming on Saturday and Sunday. The actors, Claire and Stephen, were great and got the work done very quickly and so those scenes should be very quick to film at the weekend, all going smoothly. The bigger scenes with many people are more of a worry but could not be arranged for rehearsal so fingers crossed it will all slot in to place. I shall be planning the shots tomorrow so should have an idea of where the weekend is going more by then.

Funny times this Checkout lark

Also book tickets here for Why Are Clowns?
Mon 31st August
STUDIO 1 @ 8pm
Why Are Clowns?
Produced by: L'Oiseau Chante
Composer: Ewen Moore
Director: Aaron Paterson
The premiere of a new miniature musical, in which the Arcola Theatre is transformed for a night of sawdust, spangles, song and insanity. Join the ambitious ballerina and the world-weary clown as they share their final dance and discover just what it costs to make the world laugh.
http://www.arcolatheatre.com/?action=schedule&sid=354

WAC is heating up

2009-08-18T22:55:00.004+01:00

Met Ewen at 6pm to discuss lighting and staging issues related to Why Are Clowns? and we were joined by the cast at 7.30pm.

The first part went very well and though there are things to be done, we know what they are now and who we can talk to to resolve them.

The read through and discussion with the cast went very well. In 2.5hours we managed to discuss 5 pages of Ewen's script. And we weren't going slowly, in fact I was pushing it on whenever we seemed to get stuck on a point. It is mind boggling in many respects. Ewen's script is thick with meaning and interpretations and possibilities and I need to decide on some or decide to make it as open as the script but also guide the audience through that so that they come away with something. It is a crazy balancing act and a minefield of choices - which makes it so much fun to work on.

Another Paris review:

"The Assassination of Paris Hilton is [...] a success for new company Racked Theatre."

http://www.britishtheatreguide.info/otherresources/fringe/fringe09-38.htm

Back in the real world

2009-08-17T23:54:00.002+01:00

I've realised the blog is very Paris-centric when in fact I have exchanged emails with Dave (Checkout) and Ewen (Why Are Clowns?) about a variety of things. I read the latest draft of Checkout and have emailed Janey notes on it.

There is a lot to be done and now its midnight. Plenty to do.

I have had kind of an epiphany today about having to work on things in the future that will bring me money from my art... more news on that when I have any clue what that involves.